How I feel…?

A, in my opinion, very dark poem about numbness, apathy and not having the will to form opinion, ideas or anything for that matter. I hope you enjoy it. Sincerely yours, Jules.

Finally some rest,
The lion sleeps alone tonight.

Environmental bleeding,
 A monolith reflection

So they chose for drowning,
and fought the mourning

And I built a cage:
Stepped out
Grabbed the key
Locked myself out

Within stays a mystery to me
all these questions

Still I mimic all
And blend in

Fill up the void with lies
shut it, for the hollow one thrives

The question of them all…
Not pretending
not mimicking
but

How can I feel?

 

 

Author's Note

Of course I'd like to get some reviews, tips or tricks about my writing.

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

It occurred to me that the speaker wasn't so much locking themselves out as locking all the ideas that might be considered as ...what's today's buzzword...non-going-forward lol.
The unwillingness to engage at anything other than the superficial level. Could it be your subconscious saying that the band you are in - is at risk from perhaps lack of control of it's members on social media sites. After all, 'likes' transform into fans.
Then again I could be reading too much into this and it could be in general about the way people cage us/ categorise us/ pigeon hole us without getting to know the real us.
Hi Jules.

[junXion]

Deep thoughts indeed my man haha. It's good to see you putting some thinkwork into my poems, thank you for that. Oh my band and I are just fine sir. We're actually releasing our very first ablum on january the 20th (check us out hint hint). Thank you for the review. Sincerely yours, Jules.

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - love the plug!!

Break a leg Jules.
Will check out the band.

[KTizzle]

I found this line a bit out of place just because of the animal you chose here, "The lion sleeps alone tonight." I felt like everything else had a purpose, but that one made me question, why a lion? Also made me think of a song and took me out of the poem. I felt like you could do more with that line.

I liked everything else. I thought you displayed an interesting vocabulary that worked well with configuring a person who sees things happening. but feeling caged up in apathy. I guess I kind of wanted more of it. I wanted to hear more about not being able to feel things because you've captured not being able to have an opinion about things, but not necessarily any other emotions that is numbed by apathy. I wanted an exploration I suppose so as to connect to the last line "how can I feel" more. I think that line is chilling by the way, but if your focus was on not being able to come up with an opinion, then I can get that.

I also love the abstractness of the topic.

- Jazz

[junXion]

Wow, what review! Thanks Jazz! So if you are refering to a song by the postal office (or birdy's cover) than you've got me! I've lend that line for my poem. The line represent the majesty and danger every human contains (as does the meaning of this line in the original lyric). I wanted to write the evolution of that danger into insecurity by an overwheling outside world. But yes I guess you're right, I might let loose of some of the abstractism (that's a word now) and clarify just a bit more. Thanks for the wonderful feedback Jazz lover! As always, Sincererly yours, Jules.

[JerryB]

At least you are the questioning sort, otherwise you would be like so very many in the world today, a word I have come to like, a sheeple. The last line says that you are not, thank goodness.

[junXion]

Thank you so much for reading this piece, and yes you are right, I'm indeed of the questioning sort. Sincerely yours, Jules.

[lua]

i feel this to be a strong embodiment of conforming to society and being fed what to think/believe/feel, i admire this

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

Escaping from the outer world and locking the bolt in the inner world. A very nice piece of work.

[JoeM]

I just had to comment on your marvellous introduction to your poem. You made me laugh out loud.
I think I'm too simple a soul to fully get your poem.

[junXion]

Haha thanks JoeM, glad I can make you laugh. If you read the comment of slfisher89 you'll get quite a good impression of what the meaning is of this poem. However, naturally, every poem I write is completely open to your own interpretation, so play with it a little. Thanks for reading, Sincerly yours, Jules.

[slfisher89]

A perplexing speaker; shutting self off from a decaying world. Yet, escaping into a internal prison; where the speaker plays a role devoid of identity. Well thats my interpretation. Bravo Jules rather deep.