cryin

written about my on going battle with medical problems i have ,, this is a tough poem for me because i really had to dig deep inside and write about these issues i have medically,,

 CRYIN'

FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT 

I WAKE UP FEELING REGRET, 

TELLING MYSELF IT'LL BE OKAY 

JUST HAVE TO PATIENTLY WAIT, 

I KNOW IT'LL WORK OUT ONE DAY 

IF I JUST DON'T QUIT THE FIGHT, 

MOM TELLS ME EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE 

BUT I JUST CAN'T STOP CRYIN' 

THE FEELING ARISES IN THE NIGHT 

AND NEVER LEAVES TIL EARLY MORNING LIGHT, 

I KNOW THE REASON WHY 

BUT I JUST CAN'T STOP THE FRIGHT 

I WANT TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU 

BUT IT'LL LEAVE ME FEELING BLUE, 

AND I KNOW IT'LL BRING THE TEARS AGAIN 

JUST LIKE NOW THEY FALL DOWN MY CHIN, 

TO LAND IN MY LAP LIKE A SPILLED DRINK 

THEY STAIN EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, 

REMINDING ME OF BITTER TIMES 

INSTEAD OF ALLOWING THE SUN  TO SHINE, 

AS IT'S MEANT TO BE 

BRIGHT AND WILD AND FREE. 

JUST LIKE I WAS YESTERDAY 

BEFORE THEY LOCKED ME INSIDE THIS PLACE,, 

IT'S NOT A PRISON OR A JAIL 

NO THIS IS TRULY HELL, 

PAINFUL MOMENTS OF REGRET 

SOME THING I CAN NOT FORGET, 

WAKE UP EVERY MORNING TO DRUG MYSELF 

AND FEEL THE PRESSURE WITH IN, 

THE GROWING DISEASE TAKEN CONTROL 

WILL I EVER BE WHOLE,, 

JUST A THOUGHT THAT I HAVE 

BURIED INSIDE MY HEAD, 

MOMENTS OF TRUTH THEY ARRIVE 

ROBBING ME BLIND OF MY LIFE, 

SEIZURES AND MEDICATIONS AND PAGETS DISEASE, MULTIPLE PAIN ISSUES IN 95% OF MY BODY,, THIS IS THE CHAINS OF DEATH THAT HOLDS ONE IN PLACE WITH THE ENDLESS ACHES OF REALITY, I’VE DEALT WITH THIS  SINCE 2005 AND EACH DAY NO MATTER WHAT MEDICATION I TAKE IT SEEM’S TO BECOME ALITTLE WORSE LEAVING ME FILLED WITH DOUBT FROM KNOWING THAT   WITH IN A FEW MONTHS FROM NOW THAT I COULD BE WHEEL CHAIR BOUND DUE TO THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS I HAVE ,, THIS IS HURTFUL IN MANY WAYS AND  I STRUGGLE TO FIGHT EACH AND EVERY DAY TO KEEP IT FROM HAPPENING