Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter 1: Prologue

A Chapter by Light

It was snowing that night; a feeble gesture as the mighty flames kept on their roars. And the crystalline flakes died out before their overwhelming heat. The winds slashed against the infernal blazes, not taming it, but merely provoking.

Despair filled the cold air, emanated from that hot spot. Albeit not coming far. The screams soon weakened as the despaired lessened, and the countless meters of pine trees kept their cries from reaching any other human spirit. Moreover, the smoke detectors, entrusted with their knightly task of protection, had mysterically failed their sole duty. So, the unexpected fire would remain unexpected to the outer world for weeks to pass; its voice softened, yet not weakened in the eyes of the victims.

The house burned. The woman burned. The man burned. Even the dog, struggling in his last few breaths to protect his loved masters from the growing flames, as loyal as he was, burned. The boy, however, survived, miraculously. As did the forest, thanks to the not-so-humble garden spanning the former mansion. But beyond that, everything got incinerated.

How the little kid exactly lived to pass another second, is a rather vague matter to answer. No sane person would be able to tell what had happened around twelve o'clock, that January night, 2009, including the boy. The youngster's version of the story would be full of fairy tails, of dragons and wizards, of extraterrestrial and mythical creatures; one that the therapists would soon enough come to judge as an ordeal to get out of the poor son's head.

© 2015 Light

Author's Note

I'd like to hear the most honest feedback possible. Rather a destructive but truthful comment than a constructive but delusional one. So please, tell me all about the aggravating flaws that is my writing.

My Review

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Hello light,

In my opinion this is a rather well-written prologue, in the sense that it is interesting and already makes me wonder. How did the boy survive. I do think that you are overusing adjectives in the beginning. "knightly task of the smoke detectors" is an example of this. Another suggestion would be to rephrase "beyond that" as it implies an outward movement, in this case a bit odd as you are describing all things that burned WITHIN the confinements of the garden.



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Posted 7 Years Ago

language is good,a few grammatical errors,would like to read 2nd chapter not published to give u a better review. platinum

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

Thank you, I just published the second chapter.

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2 Reviews
Added on August 9, 2015
Last Updated on August 11, 2015