I Question Him

I Question Him

A Poem by justjenn_2u

My emotions, they tell me to love 

In one hand, I’m locked and I’m loaded

My heart frail, never sent from above

Lifted messages decoded

Never ready to fall so easily

Heart stoned, waiting for anarchy

Does God guide or is He just testing me

I want to drown in this man’s pit

Fearful wrath, torn wings fly to be free

I hold attribute to words “I do.” 

When is love merely justified? 

When I’m ready, will he come through?

Or will his nerves be petrified? 

Gleaming at him, I see future

Turning, I see paradox

Did he slice my heart with suture

I can’t be just his orthodox

Where does the answer deeply lie?

In a marriage of mine not true

If I turn to him, I will cry

Is he just a mirage?

© 2014 justjenn_2u


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Well, that's disturbing.
technically, this poem is one of your better flows and rhymes; intact and smooth. personally, this deeply disturbs me. the many questions your raise are valid point-blank striking. it is unbelievable. it shows strength and resilience, but have you made a wrong decision? wrong decisions hurt and cost us a lot, and fearing so is devastating. its hard.
yet again, i ask, were you not to make your choice, and lived past it, will you ever know how it would be? i'm guessing you'd regret not taking your chances for love and safety when you had them. Whether this decision is right or wrong matters in my opinion not as much as all of it that you will bear as you move along home or towards it, wherever it may be.
The shade of the question lingers i see. and its heavy; doubt is not an easy to overcome.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

justjenn_2u

7 Years Ago

I miss your writing. Cory says HI to you as well. I am happy he is taking a journey in expressing .. read more
A.r. Bazian

7 Years Ago

I'm happy he is too. Say hi back, will you? I miss talking to you guys too. How've you guys been?read more



Reviews

i think sometimes God does test us, but we have to follow our hearts as well.

I am not really religious but i do know that often prayer helps ....

Posted 7 Years Ago


justjenn_2u

7 Years Ago

I am spiritual and not religious. I believe in a higher power. Thanks for your review, friend.
Well, that's disturbing.
technically, this poem is one of your better flows and rhymes; intact and smooth. personally, this deeply disturbs me. the many questions your raise are valid point-blank striking. it is unbelievable. it shows strength and resilience, but have you made a wrong decision? wrong decisions hurt and cost us a lot, and fearing so is devastating. its hard.
yet again, i ask, were you not to make your choice, and lived past it, will you ever know how it would be? i'm guessing you'd regret not taking your chances for love and safety when you had them. Whether this decision is right or wrong matters in my opinion not as much as all of it that you will bear as you move along home or towards it, wherever it may be.
The shade of the question lingers i see. and its heavy; doubt is not an easy to overcome.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

justjenn_2u

7 Years Ago

I miss your writing. Cory says HI to you as well. I am happy he is taking a journey in expressing .. read more
A.r. Bazian

7 Years Ago

I'm happy he is too. Say hi back, will you? I miss talking to you guys too. How've you guys been?read more
Sometimes life moves in such a rush that all you can really do is act on potent but fleeting emotion or stand back in horror while what you perceive as a salvation of sorts passes by. The result is a lingering surreal feeling, and tons of questions. Once again one is brought to the crossroads of action or inaction. The only proper course of action is to make the next move to answering those questions and putting them at ease. You wrote an awesome poem Jenn.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

justjenn_2u

7 Years Ago

John.... I love your profile pic long time friend. Our collabs in the past bring much respect to y.. read more
The narrator here is reaching out for the answer to an ancient question, "Where is my faith?" A question that often comes after some type of spiritual awakening. Mistakes are revealed and dings our testimony, and the future seems more uncertain than before.

Is the truth at her door, but just beyond her grasp? Why does it have to be elusive at times? Which lover will cause the less suffering?

"Heart stoned, waiting for anarchy" - she mistrusts herself, is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Here, she puts a lofty weight on the importance of her decision. If she makes a wrong move, will the whole thing fall apart and she lose both?

"Does God guide or is He just testing me" - another ancient question. Be this the will of The Almighty or self? This leads me to believe that the author is spiritual, perhaps Christian, and being so believes that there is an invisible war waging at all times around her for her soul. The war is decided upon whose will do we choose... our own or His. At times the most faithful Christian can be baffled in determining which is which.

This intimate poem leaves me with questions, and the answer I am left holding is at best mysterious. Time will tell. True love lasts, but we are unable to test its strength, until we release ourselves freely to it, giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Tusitala O'Neill

7 Years Ago

This is an incredible review, Xavier. I was going to weigh in but I think you have said it all bett.. read more

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Added on January 13, 2014
Last Updated on January 13, 2014

Author

justjenn_2u
justjenn_2u

VA



About
I write from my heart. I follow my instinct. I live impulsively. I never feel like my feet are firmly grounded as I am a free spirit. I am a very intuitive person, sometimes to the point it hurts .. more..

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