Known yet Unknown COMPANION

This a family saga about how a family ends up for trip and while on the way little one meets an unexpected companion who everyone seems to know except him.

 KNOWN  YET  UNKNOWN COMPANION

 

It  was  a pleasant Saturday  morning, sun shined  beautifully in the sky  Mrs. Cox   was busy making breakfast and  the clock stuck 8. Although by this time children would have come downstairs but she neither saw anyone coming  down nor heard  any hustle-bustle of morning hours. Curious at this morning hour silence she goes to children room and what she sees leaves her astonished .All her lovely children  are sleeping like a log…”Oh!! gosh don’t  they have school ?? Today they will be very late for school…” She talks with  herself  while trying to wake her kids …after a good try without result .She turns around to find a jug full of water to wake up the kids but instead end up finding  a note addressed  to her

 

“ Mumma don’t wake us early in the morning---- in case you have forgot our summer vacation have started so no school only and only a good deep sleep ”

                   From  your lovely kids

 

Oh!! In her daily routine she almost lost this in mind that children vacation has started. But soon  tension took over her happiness ,now her three kid will be all alone in house she has to arrange for a caretaker.  She is a teacher in a nearby school  by the time children used  to arrive from school she would reach home and had lunch with them but now she need a caretaker to take care for her children. Although two children were teenagers it was her youngest son  Zeno for whom she was really worried . Although he was only 7 year old boy but he was the naughtiest of kids she ever saw, he only seems to obey her and his father… rest  he could make anyone dance on his tunes…and after doing naughtiest of thing his puppy face and sorry would make even stone melt but in her absence he could do anything so to hire a caretaker was utmost important  thing .But at present problem she is facing is that no caretaker will come in such a short notice and to find a new caretaker she need 2-3 days then she got a idea her neighbor Mrs. Thomas  is going on a vacation  to the lovely city  of Ohio. While she will be away for 4-5 days  she could easily let her maid serve her (of course she will pay her separately ).She  rushes to her drawing room to make a call . While dialing number her eyes meets clock which has already past nine she was really astonished “ Oh! God did her husband  forget to go to office or he went into one of his deep sleep”. She   rushed  to room and yes her handsome husband is sleeping peacefully. After making her drool here and there he wakes up and kindly reminds her of second Saturday holiday and Sunday and the office holiday of Monday  it was one of those rare occasion of the year where holiday were in line. Well know she remember clearly and without mistake of her holiday too….well she was not suffering from any memory disorder it was just that she was so immersed in her daily routine that she forget that there are some exception days where no office no work and only spending time with her children .Anyways  now she can breathe  with ease .She went to kitchen and completed her  work after 2 hours she makes everyone wake up and  get ready after having breakfast (now lunch sadly) and with all daily talks  she heard ringing of phone. She picks up and all that kids could hear were” oh great ,yaa ,why not, my pleasure, thank you ” now she gather all member and tell them Mrs. Thomas  was going to Ohio but due to certain event she has to cancel her plan but because of  advance booking she was left with no option but to donate her tickets to us OR the money would be wasted although we will pay her for this charity but I thought it would be great if me and Leonard  (her husband ’s name) could take two �"day leave and we all go to a family vacation ,tickets and all bookings have been done by Mrs. Thomas ..isn’t this a great idea?? What she heard was a chorus and loud yes so all of them went packing .Her eldest son Marcus was a adventure �"freak , and Ohio  was full of mountains and deep valley all trekking and rafting  could be done..her daughter Jennifer loves shopping and making different fruit jellies it will be  great to pluck a fresh mountain fruit and make it delicious jelly and go for a woolen shopping but her youngest son Zeno was most excited of all after all it was his first airplane trip he couldn’t control his excitement and went on non -stop ranting  about ‘ how it must be great  to fly and see cloud ’.After all the packing they quickly head off to airport .While sitting only problem they faced was one seat was in right corner first row while all seats were left corner first and second row …now the teenage sibling were not ready to separated  and her hubby could not sit there  due to leg pain that place seem to be idle for a person with short leg so now only option left was Zeno .Although Zeno didn’t like that place quiet , far from where his family but he was kept with  promise that  Mumma is just near sitting to him..so Zeno agreed and anyways he wouldn’t  let his first airplane trip go bad so he sat there  although he needed window seat but he saw a well �" dress man sitting there , he was very engrossed in reading his file he didn’t even try to look who was sitting beside him but what was amusing  to Zeno was that everyone was addressing him as SIR well he thought he must be a teacher of some college even his mother is addressed ” ma’am” when any of her student bump into her in market or any other place but why is everyone busying attending only him  when he is also sitting beside him and has paid the same amount …he  thought for a while then said

Zeno: You must be very strict teacher that’s why everyone is busying attending you or you may end up scolding them 

Passenger: And how do you know that I am a teacher

Zeno: Oh !! don’t you go on my face I am a kid by face but I understand      everything very quickly and very smartly..they are addressing as a Sir so you must be a teacher

Passenger: Oh !! you are very smart but now can you be quiet.

For Zeno it was very rude he was trying to  start a conservation and this man on his face said to be quiet anyways he is not going to be quiet after all its his first airplane trip and he is sitting away from his family he won’t let himself be bored  and will keep on trying to start his conservation with his co-passenger after seeing his co-passenger free for some time he again starts

Zeno: Will you please  exchange window seat with me I want see clouds and aerial view of my city

Passenger: NO!

Zeno was left confused he said no ok its fine but he didn’t gave reason.At least had he given reasons  they could have arrived at a conclusion this clear no showed that he was both adamant and rude.

Anyways he turns only to find his co-passenger  engrossed in  his files again Zeno again tries to kick-off a conservation he was getting highly bore

Zeno: You know this is my first airplane trip I am so happy (and starts his rant of how exciting it is to fly in airplane for first time)(but after some time)

Passenger : It’s good you are happy  but  look I am busy in some important work will you please let me concentrate

Zeno was highly disappoint this man seems fool to him he wanted to spend all his trip in reading file without talking and even without looking out of window and admire natural beauty .At last Zeno concluded that this man can’t talk and it better to take a nap .But  after some time he woke  up just to find that his father talking to passenger and asking whether Zeno is  behaving all good or should he change Zeno place with any other member to which  the passenger said no. Well Zeno was as  confused as hell this man is not talking to him and he is not letting his placed be replaced by someone else he couldn’t make out anything out of this man.Anyways why should he care when the other person is not even replying to him

At last before landing Zeno  thought  to try a last time to start a conservation with this rude man

Zeno: Where are you going??

Passenger: TO Ohio

Zeno: Oh! Wow even I and my family are going to same place for vacation .Do you live there??

Passenger: Yes

Zeno: Will you take us around the city ?It’s new for us.

Passenger: Yes

After the announcement was made that plane has landed of

Zeno: But how will we contact you ?

Passenger went away and left his card which read

Ministry of Tourism , Ohio

Mr. George William- Minister of Tourist Affair ,Ohio

B-10 Bunglow,New Era,Royal Colony

 

Author's Note

This is my first try in writing story ..so ya mistakes will be there but please feel free to point at them as at the end they will help to become a better writer..and please feel free to write about the story plus and negative point

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I see that one of your reviewers is suggesting a different way to punctuate dialogue. I would not worry about that. Your style of bold name in front of each dialogue works fine. I'm proud of you for using dialogue in a first story . . . it's hard to do & many writers do not even try. So please just take your time learning all the nit-picking details about punctuating dialogue. It's better just to make it clear, which you have done.

Your story is nicely paced & written with a sense of enthusiasm . . . we can feel that your characters are eager for this unexpected vacation. There are some errors in your English structure, but really good for a first try. Your story makes sense & you will improve as you practice more & more with your English.

You have many elements to make this a story that the reader wants to continue reading to find out what happens. You end the story with a fun twist -- the guy being from the tourist office. This is a good story structure for your first time.

Here are a couple things that didn't make sense to me. If the mom is a teacher, she would not forget that summer vacation is starting. I suggest you change her profession to something else -- where school schedule is not obvious & she might not remember the holiday.

Second thing . . . the passenger didn't want to be bothered, but when the flight ends, he eagerly says he will show these people around Ohio. This is not believable to me. I think it could be more of a longer time to convince the official to take this time & show this family around. Show us the gradual change from being not sociable, then slowly becoming sociable. This would not happen as suddenly as you describe it.

Otherwise, your story is fun & interesting & it has some twists & turns that make it suspenseful, too.
the holiday & that it would be a surprise.

[KAINA SHAILJA]

Thanks a lot i will definately try to improve things you said

[Simran Kaur]

it was a good story.the incidents regarding the notes happens with me too.nice try

[Dr.Person]

The only thing that bugged me the most was a few missing words like "the" and some grammar mistakes other than that I loved it. I don't know though if you made punctuation mistakes because I'm bad with those. So you might want someone to check that just in case.

[Dreamer05]

You have done an amazing job ..wish you all the best for your future stories. my only suggestion or advice is that , story is secondry & character is prime so jus build your character like anything ,which makes your story more adorable ...eg:- most or stories movies which you can remind right now will be character centric only. God bless you ...

[KAINA SHAILJA]

Thanks for your good wishes i yes will try to incorporated your suggestion once again thanks and i wish you all the very best

[Dreamer05]

Thank you ...will post my first story soon as well ....learnt a lot from yiu :)

[wordman]

it is a wonderful story,your first try was very good,the professionals make errors,that`s what proof readers are for..

[KAINA SHAILJA]

thanks for being encouraging

[wordman]

my pleasure !

[Luna]

Keep it up KIANA. No one's perfect so lets learn about different things together :)

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

Indent a few times to separate paragraphs. Indent when someone is talking. Don´t highlight someone's name when he or she is taking. Instead, indent and put quotation marks around what he or she says.

[KAINA SHAILJA]

Thanks a lot willowwaldgrave will keep these thing in mind next time a write