She was weak

She was weak

A Poem by Kajal Sharma
"

It is the poem emphasising on the male domination in society

"
She was born
You didn't want a girl at all 
She was 4 and 
Now she looks like a little doll 
She was 10 
Nobody told her about love 
She was 12 
She was learning to light a stove 
She was 15 
You kept her in the walls 
She was 18
In love she falls 
She was 21 
Her choices were not listened 
She was 23 
You gave her to a rich son 
She was 25
 Now in laws had the throne 
She was 26 
 She was already with a kid 
she was 36 
Her boy was now growing splendid 
She was 45 
Her husband complained 
She was 50 
Now a widow crying in pain 
She was 60 
Now her son shouts 
She was 70 
He threw her out 
All life she served everyone 
Her father, her man, her son 
No one shouted but silence did the trick 
But after all she was weak 
If she shouted back that one day 
Her life would have gone a different way

© 2015 Kajal Sharma


Author's Note

Kajal Sharma
Frustration took the form of words. Please review and rate if you like.

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Reviews

I really liked how you used progressive age to explain a life that was owned by everybody else but her.

A few suggestions:

She was learning to lit a stove---She was learning to LIGHT a stove

Her choices were not listened--maybe--Her choices were disregarded

He threws her out--He THREW her out

Her life was a going different way--Maybe--Her life would have gone a different way

Hope this helps.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you for the help dear
You have taken us from birth to old age in this poem. Indeed, if she had spoken up for herself, her life might have been very different. It is a shame there are still so many male dominated societies in our world. Well written. Lydi**

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really dug it. great residual. in context to the poem and its meaning how could I even presume to diminish it with grammatical criticism? it was wonderful to read and i wouldn´t change anything about it.
im an english teacher and not all structure applies to the heart so I appreciate your words. thank you for letting me read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

still if any mistake you can help me out
Wow very strong piece. Full of deep feeling. Very sad... very good piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you so much...i am glad you liked it
Sultrysoul

8 Years Ago

You are most welcome.
The message is loud and clear . Stop gender discrimination....

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you vikas...i m glad you liked it
I liked the style of narration..
In few a lines SHE took birth and died..
The message is very well conveyed..
Well done..!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you so much jyoti...
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

You are welcome..!
a great depiction of a woman's life. they do so much but are not appreciated for it, i understand your frustration. keep writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you so much
Quite an excellent poem. I like the way we got to visit her at different stages of her life. And, I could feel the frustration build with each verse!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

thank you I am glad you like it...
Michael Stevens

8 Years Ago

You're quite welcome!
Yes, i like it. Very well written, and unfortunately, it is true. Women are treated like they're slaves. Which is a BIG BLOODY SHAME of society, but not many care, no one cares about the broken, tormented souls. They're all like "Why would i care?" or "What can i do about it?" and that is just WRONG! 100 points.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

yes that is true and purpose of the poem is to make people care
Kajal Sharma

8 Years Ago

can i submit it in group?
Dani The Unreviewed

8 Years Ago

Sure you can :)
What you describe occurs too often... our 'intelligent' race still in its infancy...
nice poem!!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 5, 2015
Last Updated on August 7, 2015

Author

Kajal Sharma
Kajal Sharma

India



About
My name is Kajal Sharma. I love to do anything in which i can be creative. My interests are writing, reading, drawing, cooking, karaoke, dancing. I started writing when I was 12 years old. My love for.. more..

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