Follower

Written for a 100 words contest

Dianne clutched his picture against her chest. This time she wouldn't hesitate, she'd tell him how amazing he was, how he had saved her life in so many ways and how much she loved him.

"Next!"

She stepped forward, her heart racing.

Wearing the same smile as in the picture, he looked up. "Any dedication?"

"For Dianne," she quavered and handed the print over.

He scribbled his name across, right over his kind, gorgeous face. "There you go."

She looked at the photo; ink lines criss-crossed his lips like sutures. "I…" 

"Yes?"

Dianne swallowed. "Where are you going next?"

Author's Note

All comments welcome :-)

Reviews

[Usman Muhammad]

Wow...I am just speechless. Before reading this I used to believe that writing a story in few words is just meaningless because such story fails in conveying the emotions, but here you have done something amazing here and I would like to admire your writing abilities for that.
Well done,
I will be looking forward to read your other writings

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse to resort to telling instead of showing, but due to the word limitation it's always a gamble whether the emotions and actions make sense to the reader. Therefore, I'm always thrilled to hear that a story worked :-)

[Weeping willow]

Wonderful expression through this write;-]

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much :-)

[GwenLark]

I loved this. I am a fan of flash fiction. I think it takes incredible talent to do it well, and you have

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much!

[alanwgraham]

I suppose this situation has been repeated a million times. The fan infatuated with her idol, the idol thinking about how long till he can stop for the day - a blur of faces!
You've caught it well!
Regards, Alan

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much, Alan!

[Woody]

such a short short one that needs no addition at all. great last line.
I thought only men's talk. wait! that doesn't look right. ah got it! I thought only men stalk.

I could never ever manage to write a story in so few words. you've got the knack, girl!!

[Kaliope]

Jeez, you're making me blush :-) Thank you for your lovely comment.
And we sure do stalk, but I suspect women tend to be a bit more subtle about it. Or maybe not... hehe.

[Shannon]

That economy of words that I really admire is really amped up here!

[Kaliope]

I'm gad you like it! 100 words is not much to work with, but it's a great exercise and quite a lot of fun :-)

[Zoli Fern]

A+!!!
You totally captured this moment. I love how in the first line, we get this fierce determination, but when the moment comes, it disappears. We have all been there before. Seriously, good job. I hope you win the contest!

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much! The contest ended a few months ago and I made third place, but I'm perfectly happy with that :-) Btw, great idea about the MicroBlips group, I'm definitely looking forward to more great flash fiction from you and the other members!

[Samuel Dickens]

Heh-heh, okay, I guess she needs another chance. This is sweet--a very effective one hundred words. The reader can go beyond what you've written and imagine more failure but perhaps success for Dianne.

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much :-)

[JMKane117]

That's cool. It's so open to interpretation. It's a great piece of flash fiction. Looking forward to whats next.

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much! Most likely my next publication will be a slightly wicked... sort of... fairy tale... needs approval from my beta reader first though, since he requested that kind of story :-)

[Tomoe Tellez]

I don't know how you do this! How are you able to tell so much with few words? I loved this, especially because I know that this is how it feels and I wouldn't have been able to describe it like this. Your words have power. I loved this!

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much Alondra! But it's really not magic. I usually start out with a normal scene - might be 300 words or more and then I cut, cut, cut, cut, cut until only the essential parts remain. Not every story can be told that way, but short emotional moments usually work quite well. If you'd like to try I currently have a 100 words contest open, so I'd be honored if you'd participate :-D