Follower

Written for a 100 words contest

Dianne clutched his picture against her chest. This time she wouldn't hesitate, she'd tell him how amazing he was, how he had saved her life in so many ways and how much she loved him.

"Next!"

She stepped forward, her heart racing.

Wearing the same smile as in the picture, he looked up. "Any dedication?"

"For Dianne," she quavered and handed the print over.

He scribbled his name across, right over his kind, gorgeous face. "There you go."

She looked at the photo; ink lines criss-crossed his lips like sutures. "I…" 

"Yes?"

Dianne swallowed. "Where are you going next?"

Author's Note

All comments welcome :-)

Reviews

[Usman Muhammad]

Wow...I am just speechless. Before reading this I used to believe that writing a story in few words is just meaningless because such story fails in conveying the emotions, but here you have done something amazing here and I would like to admire your writing abilities for that.
Well done,
I will be looking forward to read your other writings

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse to resort to telling instead of showing, but due to the word limitation it's always a gamble whether the emotions and actions make sense to the reader. Therefore, I'm always thrilled to hear that a story worked :-)

[M. Black]

you are very talented when it comes to flash fiction. you are able to tell a great story and get emotion across in such a short piece. I think it's amazing! :)

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much, that was actually my first 100 words story ever. It's fun though and a good exercise to declutter one's writing. Not that you need it, but if you'd like to try I currently have a contest open. I would be honored if you'd participate :-D

[JoeM]

Superb! If you do anymore like this, you'll have us all packing up our keyboards.

[Kaliope]

Oh that would be horrible, I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone packing up...

read moreOh that would be horrible, I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone packing up...

Thank you for your review, I really appreciate it! :-)

[Kaliope]

Thank you for your review, I really appreciate it :-)

[Daisy]

no comments............ It's speechless... awesome way of description..... well done

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much!

[Ren Vaughn]

I really love your writing style with stories. This has a sadness to it that is very subtle and beautiful. The nuance is also quite beautiful. I also love how you've given it an almost circular feel; it makes the reader feel like Dianne has lived this moment before, and will relive it once more, which adds to it's subtle, tragic beauty. Very well done in just 100 words!

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much! Since I am already a fan of your writing this means a lot to me!

[Tasmin-Leigh]

I enjoyed reading it as it hooked me in... I hope there is more to come

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much! I'm currently trying to get something longer done, so it might take a while but there's definitely more to come :-)

[Tasmin-Leigh]

Take your time creativity cannot be rushed

[Kaliope]

Haha, that's my cue to shamelessly advertise another story of mine: Writer's Pains. I've been told it's fun to read, so if you find the time... ;-)

[Elodie Thompson]

The momentous intensity between Dianne and her thoughts were very well written.

[Kaliope]

Thank you Elodie!

[Elodie Thompson]

No worries Kaliope. Your ability to create the suspense within such a short passage shows your capability. It was wonderful to read.

[Chris]

I think it was sad that he took his picture away from her... and you KNOW she had to buy another book just to be able to look at him again and again.

[Kaliope]

Well spotted, that particular picture was both elevated and ruined for her! :-D

[Chris]

It's always the little "things" that mark the differences in what we write and say.

[JulianaSun]

Well, the girl in this story is shy and a bit of a coward. But, maybe that´s for the best. You know what they say - you should never meet your heroes ( or in this case, idiol). I liked the way you conveyed her emotions - the nerveousness, the excitement, the thrill of meeting someone she has been dreaming about for a long time...
I think this would make for a wonderful beginning for a longer story, or even a novel. :)

J

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much! I totally agree about never meeting your heroes, but if I'd had ever given in to the temptation (and there was quite a lot of that in my younger days) I'm pretty sure that's what would have happened :-)