I Have Enough Reasons To Die..

I have enough reasons to die, but I'll still strive to achieve my dreams..

I have enough reasons to die,
but i still want to fly,
fly, up up and high,
to reach the sky,

I always fail when i try,
drowned in the sorrow of cry,
but always gave another try,
to fly high; to feel the sky,

you are a complete jerk, they say,
you can never contend for the fray,
but the assertions doesn't cause dismay,
i just want to prove them wrong, one day,

most of the people say,
if there is a will, there is a way,
even a stopped clock is right,
twice a day,

the best day of my life?
the day i will die,
but it would be worst,
if i don't fly before the day i die,

nothing is at d place, where it should be,
life is not like, as it could be,
i have enough reasons to die,
but i m still alive, to fly, high, high, and high. . . .

Author's Note

I'd like to hear what you think about this one.. :)

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

As long as there is life there is hope and a living dog is better than a dead lion...the universe is not at our disposal...such thinking is vanity...but time and chance happen to all...we do not know what tomorrow may bring but we must keep our hearts and minds open to possibilities since possibilities are endless and a heart and mind work the same as books and parachutes...they only work when they open. Keep the hope and the faith and remember that life is not about what others do to us but about what we can do for others. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way towards warding off depression as does constant work and study...it is very difficult to feel sorry for oneself while counting one's blessings or while involving oneself in learning or labor. Blessings of peace and love, F.

[Sethnicity]

The thoughts presented are noble and it has a small amount of some supportive lines to the them. Overall I'd like to see you step away from the repetitive rhyme scheme and block form... I know you say your not a writer but I believe you are writing right now.

Don't be afraid
to let the feeling fade
dismantle the grey
and obliterate your word activity or (active i tay)...

make the reader search for the ryhme or reason they will appreciate it more when the words become more than just words but lyric, color, tone, dialect.

So the very best day of your life
is when you die by silent knife
with smile cross your face
because you bled life through your pen's will (pencil) trace.

you got the thoughts you just have to break down every word every thought into it's most simple form.
Keep it up my friend I will check in again.

[...]

WOW, totally loved your rhyme scheme, such an amazing flow.
Powerful write as well, like this alot.

[ChristinaAnne]

I really like how you did the rhyme scheme on this poem. Its incredibly unique. I think that although it is a bit dark, its better these thoughts are on a canvas then building up in your head. After all, that is what we write for, isn't it? To make all of those negative thoughts into something more beautiful, before they explode into something tragic.

[Praiser]

I like to write a part 2 to this , for peoepl who has giving uo on life or just tired of struggling for someting thats taking to long to have or there self , there is a reason for every thing , as long God keep waking you up then there is a reasn to live,to do his glory

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

I like it, the only mistake I see is
"but the assertions doesn't cause dismay" doesn't should be don't (:

My favorite stanza is
"most of the people say,
if there is a will, there is a way,
even a stopped clock is right,
twice a day"
I love how you rhymed it. It sounds melodic and it's true at the same time.
Great write

-Marie-

[Xicor]

Nice write...Concept is bit negative but still enjoyed reading :)