How does it feel..?

A self-narrated story of a person who has lost his beloved...

It all seems like a bad dream, like a nightmare. But nightmares have a tendency to make you terrified for a while. After that you return to your normal, calm state. This was not a nightmare; it was reality. A reality, that I would have to face, for the rest of my life.

 

I still couldn’t believe it. She had called me just 4 hours ago. Her voice had a soothing and gentle tone, as always. She said the flight was extremely smooth and she would be home soon. Home. Now that word seemed meaningless without her.

 

The news reporter had confirmed that all aboard the flight had died. Apparently the plane had been under a very powerful tornado just before landing that caused the pilots to lose control and eventually crash in a rural area. Most of the passengers were dead upon discovery, while the rest succumbed to their wounds in a matter of minutes. Not one of them, survived.

 

How does it feel…when someone you love so much…somebody that you would do anything for, is no more? Love is a force that is strong beyond imagination, and her departure had taken away all my strength. I felt numb. Like all reality was lost. My soul forced me to look desperately for her, my eyes were eager just to catch a glimpse of her. She was like a source of energy to me, and her untimely death had left me like a person in a coma; alive, yet completely unconscious of his surroundings.

 

I sat by her grave, my head bowed down. Maybe I didn’t have the courage to see her name written on the tombstone. I could distinctively smell her perfume. Perhaps it was just an illusion, or the fact that like always, her love had enveloped itself around me, so that I may never leave her side. Tears had made a thin stream across my face, from my eyes till the tip of my chin, where they began a seemingly perpetual fall towards the freshly dug piece of earth, now known as the grave of my wife.

 

I made a short prayer and gathered courage to leave. My legs felt wobbly, but I staggered up. I knew this wound could never be healed; it left a permanent hollowness in my soul. Time could not heal this wound, yet it could make the images of this terrible nightmare blurry, till the day my soul would be freed from its lifeless prison, to be united with its love, for eternity.

 

Reviews

[Crystal Lynn]

This is a very powerful write. You conveyed some very strong emotions here and added a lot a detail without bogging down the rhythm of the piece. What I like most is that the character is saying all this and he doesn't sound mopey; he sounds genuinely lost without his love. "She said the flight was extremely smooth and she would be home soon. Home. Now that word seemed meaningless without her." Bingo. Those were some perfect lines to relate the loss. " She was like a source of energy to me, and her untimely death had left me like a person in a coma; alive, yet completely unconscious of his surroundings." Also, a perfect way to portray his perspective. Those two sets were my favorite lines.


If I had one suggestion it would be to name the girl. Sometimes that makes her more real. It's like when you read about such-and-such number of deaths; it doesn't seem real until you read the names. They were people who had families and friends and jobs and dreams and futures. At least, that's what I think. But even if you don't do that, this piece can stand how it is. Like I said, a very powerful write, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

[fotini]

honestly i have no words!!!
it's so sad....
this is amazingly written!!!!

[Angelic Darkness]

This is a beautiful write of love and loss. I felt the emotions of
sadness, of drifting from fantasy into reality, back and forth trying
to subside the pain. I love these lines:

How does it feel�when someone you love so much�somebody that you would do anything for, is no more? Love is a force that is strong beyond imagination, and her departure had taken away all my strength. I felt numb. Like all reality was lost. My soul forced me to look desperately for her, my eyes were eager just to catch a glimpse of her. She was like a source of energy to me, and her untimely death had left me like a person in a coma; alive, yet completely unconscious of his surroundings.

I sat by her grave, my head bowed down. Maybe I didn't have the courage to see her name written on the tombstone. I could distinctively smell her perfume. Perhaps it was just an illusion, or the fact that like always, her love had enveloped itself around me, so that I may never leave her side. Tears had made a thin stream across my face, from my eyes till the tip of my chin, where they began a seemingly perpetual fall towards the freshly dug piece of earth, now known as the grave of my wife.



I made a short prayer and gathered courage to leave. My legs felt wobbly, but I staggered up. I knew this wound could never be healed; it left a permanent hollowness in my soul. Time could not heal this wound, yet it could make the images of this terrible nightmare blurry, till the day my soul would be freed from its lifeless prison, to be united with its love, for eternity.

You ended this very beautifully....releasing your soul in death to once again
be reunited with your love. This is going into my favorites.
Wonderful job! AD

[closed]

nothing short of a poem set to narrative.

I've enjoyed your writing. keep it up.


-Dream

[Imperfection]

This is a very sad write. I like how you've beautifully drawn out every emotion, every feeling here...

her departure had taken away all my strength

had left me like a person in a coma; alive, yet completely unconscious of his surroundings.

didn't have the courage to see her name written on the tombstone.

could distinctively smell her perfume.

it left a permanent hollowness in my soul

Very well written. Looking forward to reading more of you.