candle wax

My heart is made of candle wax
Your voice the flickering flame
You melt me down dripping slow
When only you speak my name

My bones are tall oak trees
Sturdy tall and strong
They make me stand on my own
Because to lean on you is wrong

My hands are like children
They always want to touch
They long to create with crayola crayons
And need to be held too much

My mouth is like a type writer
Every word I taste
But even when I long to most
They can no be erased

My feet are like a river
They run all night and day
And those caught in my path
Are dragged so far away

My eyes are tinted windows
I see the world from behind
But noone can see my circleing thoughts
They are hidden in my mind

My heart is made of candle wax
You are the flickering flame
You melted me down to nothing
I can never be the same

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Great meter and evocative imagery.

A couple of edits:
"They [cannot] be erased"
"But [none] can see… "

It's a great poem. I do think it could benefit from punctuation.

Would you please give me some input on my post, "Through True Love's Eyes?"

[misha]

What an amazing write! Keep it up :-)

[The Nude Writer]

Awesome imagery again :) my mouth is like a typewriter.. So unique :)
I am so impressed by your writing :)

[cultofthequill]

Lovely poem, I really like the rhythm and how it reads almost like a type of prayer. However, there are a couple of edits I could suggest.
"When only you speak my name" seems to sound better when you swap only & you.
And in the second to last stanza, 'circling' is spelled wrong. Nothing too major, otherwise it is still a really nice poem! Very emotional.

[cellardork]

thank you for the feed back i will make the corrections:)))