the calm storm

It wasn't love

it wasn't fire

it wasn't warm

and sweet,

and beautiful.

It was two bodies

pressed against 

each other,

held tight,

so tight,

everything else

melted away.

It wasn't electric,

it was safe.

It wasn't thunder,

it was rain.

It was hands folded 

in hands,

tracing the

drawings

of each other's

faces.

it was gentle,

soft,

protection from

a harsh

emotional

world

that had too

much

to say, too

much to feel.

It didn't make 

my heart beat 

faster

than it should.

It didn't keep 

me up at night,

thinking of

stars and

sunshine.

It didn't bring 

joy to my

eyes, and

make me smile

so wide

that everything

was alright.

It kept me calm;

satisfied.

Life was

so much,

and this:

so little.

I became addicted

to feeling

nothing at all.