Displaced

I was displaced

I never saw it coming

There were no storm clouds on the horizon

No red skies in the morning in warning.

 

I never saw it coming

I was just suddenly displaced

I found myself in Mahanaim

A long long way from home.

 

I do not belong here, I cried

I was made for a different place

This place is not my place

This place is not my home.

 

I want to be back in yesterday

I want to be back home

They speak a different language here

And my soul is longing for its home.

 

~~~~

Reviews

[Soulfulbubbles]

love this and damn do i relate to this ...so many times in this life



love this! thank you for sharing it

[spiritwind]

oh, thank you for reading this--I was beginning to think it was so awful people couldn't bring themselves to comment and lie or comment and hurt my feelings! I am not glad that you have felt this but I am glad you found veracity in it. Thank you again for reading it and commenting, Soulfulbubbles!

[Soulfulbubbles]

I try to not to hurt feelings while getting across as much honesty as i can and not bring to much past baggage in to my paradigm as i read.

I look forward reading more... if you ever need a prompt let me know :)

-kas

[spiritwind]

You are such a kind person. Like I said to John, I can take nicely done criticisms especially if followed with a pat on the head! Thank you for wanting to read more of my work. I've been reading your lovely poems and enjoying your word brush! Hate to sound dumber than a post, but what is a prompt? Having asked, I probably need it! Thank you, sweet Soulful bubbles!

[Soulfulbubbles]

harsh criticism can really hurt... in intimate writing like poetry. I do want to read more.. so to read more let me explain what a prompt is a prompt can be anything that you personally take inspiration from and then write about or are just spurred by... now online prompts are limited to picture music, phrases, words, concepts or scenarios... many writing contests will give prompts like summer or sadness and etc but will sometimes be specific in what not to do... like for a prompt about love they might say not to use the word love.

using prompts are a good way to practice and improve writing and a chance to think about things differently. it depends on your mood and mindset if they will work with you and your heart frequencies.

:) poetry is fun I use it to explore
let me know if you would like any help or suggestions..

-kas

[spiritwind]

I call you Soulfulbubbles but I see -kas at the end of your remarks. Soulfulbubbles is a keyboardful but it makes me smile everytime I type it! I see... yes, there are times I want to write but I haven't an idea that suits me. In these dry spells a prompt would be quite the thing. I promise not to take advantage of your thoughtful offer too often . I would hate myself for interfering with your writing time. Thank you so much for your time and effort with me. Yes... I see by reading you that writing is a deep pleasure to you! ~~~Spiritwind

[Soulfulbubbles]

do whatever suits you :) wont bother me in any way. I personally love making or finding prompts I find it exhilarating and refreshing... but in no way would I want you to hate yourself :)

so yeah I'll be here playing around and or reading.

-kas or soulful bubbles or bubbles or whatever you want

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I rly like this but I amost feel as if I wanted to keep reading ya know?? And maybe you should try some " ...." When you do your dialgoue in certain areas that adds a bit to some poems I've found. particularly the line "I do not belong here"

[spiritwind]

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Yes, I do know what you meant about wanting to keep on reading. After the first drafts, I tried to go on or fill in but it didn't feel right to say too much about the circumstances of my displacement. I wanted it to have more of a general application. So I left it there for people to read what their life experiences were saying to them, hoping too that they would see just beneath the surface where another meaning lies.

[Enid Blake]

A lovely poem that captures that feeling of 'displacement' we may all have experienced at some time or another :)

[spiritwind]

Thank you, Enid, for reading my poem and commenting. I feel like I reached out in the darkness and instead of being alone I found there were people out there and somehow they found my words and listened to them! Thank you for feeling that I captured that feeling of displacement. While I may have captured that feeling, I would rather not become an expert at it! Smiling back at you, :)

[Mushiegirl]

What a lovely poem, invokes a lot of feelings, at least for me as I work through some personal issues - this poem hit a chord with me and I thank you :)

Mushie

[spiritwind]

You were the first to comment and I would have thanked you earlier but I didn't see how! I am truly the new kid on the block and I have NOT figured my way around it yet. I have treasured your kind words for days , what a lovely moment it was for me to read that my first review was one of warm approval. Thank you, Mushiegirl!