What Am I Doing Here

What Am I Doing Here

A Poem by Lover Of Words

Sitting here 
i ponder
Do I matter to you 
I wonder
I question my existence
It hurts more and more each pasing day 
Do you even want me near 
I no longer feel wanted 
No longer cared for 
Let me fall into that dark hole
Because I dont want to feel the pain anymore 
Its where I want to be 
Away from the misery 
Away from the judgement 
No one notices me anymore 
I feel like a ghost
I pass right by 
And no one sees 
Why am i here I plead
Wanting to open my eyes
Wishing for the one person to be here 
 Here for me 
But  you wont answer I fear
But i know you wont show 
The pain still remains
I wait for you
But i know you wont show 
And so the pain remains
Why can't anyone see 

© 2012 Lover Of Words


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Featured Review

Kelsey, I think I can relate to what you are expressing here. In a nutshell, is it like wanting to be and not to be and the ongoing battle between the two? The "dark hole" looks like a promising release, but it isn't. If you don't mind me saying so and correct me if I am wrong, but I don't perceive the "dark hole" as death, but rather a place of not living if that makes any sence. And when there one believes they are utterly alone.
A few years ago I made a conscious decision to become nothing. It took me about a year and a half before I decided I didn't want to go any further. What I learned is that when you become nothing, no one hears you. The journey back is much harder...
Thank you for sharing this Kelsey, it means a lot to me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

The dark hole is not refuring to death you are right. I am in a place where i chose not to be by yet.. read more
william keepers

11 Years Ago

My pleasure Kelsey, and sorry for your loss.



Reviews

A very Dark Deep painful Write, i feel the Disparity and the feeling of loss and worthlessness in this piece and its profoundly Relatable. Excellent Work

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

Thank you my friend
Can feel the pain, the sorrow

Posted 11 Years Ago


Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

Its deffentally there thats for sure..
So emotional I can almost feel the sadness, the longing, the pain I'm almost positive this has to do with the depression and longing after the death of a loved one.....wonderful job kelsey

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

Why Thank you my dear friend. You are right on the subject matter
C.C. Marx

11 Years Ago

You are most very welcome :)
I think a lot of people in the world today can relate to this poem. You wrote it well and the emotion behind it was written with a deep intensity. I thought you did an excellent job with it and just remember that there is hope at the end of that tunnel :)

~Erinne

Posted 11 Years Ago


Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

Thank you for reading!!
Erinne S.

11 Years Ago

You are very welcome :)
I can relate to this. :) excellent poem! -


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

Thanks!!!
very good....maybe you could do some editing though
i*
i*
cant*
other than those mistakes it is amazing very good read...:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Kelsey, I think I can relate to what you are expressing here. In a nutshell, is it like wanting to be and not to be and the ongoing battle between the two? The "dark hole" looks like a promising release, but it isn't. If you don't mind me saying so and correct me if I am wrong, but I don't perceive the "dark hole" as death, but rather a place of not living if that makes any sence. And when there one believes they are utterly alone.
A few years ago I made a conscious decision to become nothing. It took me about a year and a half before I decided I didn't want to go any further. What I learned is that when you become nothing, no one hears you. The journey back is much harder...
Thank you for sharing this Kelsey, it means a lot to me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

11 Years Ago

The dark hole is not refuring to death you are right. I am in a place where i chose not to be by yet.. read more
william keepers

11 Years Ago

My pleasure Kelsey, and sorry for your loss.

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Added on November 23, 2012
Last Updated on November 24, 2012

Author

Lover Of Words
Lover Of Words

LA



About
Hi My name is Kelsey, I have a mild form of Cerbral Palsey and i did not choose to be given this but i live with it proudly I love sports sense i cant play them i like to watch them.. I do not judge .. more..

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