Sand Castles

Poem for school. In the process of editing. Feedback?

Sand Castles 

 

I wish that

I could wake up

Inspired

Sane.

 

I want to feel something when I

read the news

I want to stop sleeping for days

and waking up scared

for many hours,

To go through life every day

knowing

having a purpose

Even if it’s

Just to live

 

I want to write

To do something new

Paint beautiful things

photograph nature

find a soul in the images

to give myself hope

that there’s a soul in me

 

I crave life

 

I see it in the news

what this can do

to someone

 

I feel myself

crumbling with the

world like sand

castles that were

full of hope

but are

no longer

the same as they

used to be.

Author's Note

Please give me critiques! I need more. I feel like I lost my touch even more, when I barely had one to begin with...

Reviews

[Elwyn]

The feeling, unfortunately, is quite widespread, or perhaps, only in my case. I sympathize with you honestly. You feel trapped. In a rut. Never again to accomplish anything of the slightest meaning, nor be unique or special in any way. I think (or hope) this may be a phase all humans go through. Depressing really. It's an awful feeling, but honestly, I can tell you, it gets better.

This writing is incredible, and captured a familiar feeling perfectly. I can relate 1000%, and that is an accomplishment writers ought to occasionally strive for. Well done, and keep writing.

[Kenzie Morg]

Thank you so much it's been a while since i've been online and this is really inspiring that you could relate. I honestly am still stuck in this rut, but people like you truly help me feel like i'm not a lost cause.