do not heed these words for i am scared as f**k

am i being too hopeful?

do i excel in tearing myself down by bringing joy upon

 me where there is none to be had, and i- unknowingly create joy unexpectedly.

can my advisors say something about my mental health

? something of the sort then; as they are unauthorised

 by the highest degree made by man.....

what about my heart? can she have a say, but then i

 plant my feet firmly, causing a ruckus, “no!” i say, the level of rejection heavy on me.

my planters water me and allow me to flourish....... my

 parental units?... no no. those aren’t the same. my

 planters and my parental units are of two entities entirely

. my planters are the cosmic beings assigned to teach

 me knowledge i’ve yet to learn and my parental units

..... well.... they keep me safe until i no longer need

 to be kept safe: just an undying immortal risen from

 mistakes and ashes- the sand that cover my [feet

] are earnestly rising up from the tides that visit

 me. these songs; the one that i randomly sing

 at 2 in the morning- they help with the night terrors...

you....

you help with my night terrors!