whirlpool; rising up

whirlpool; rising up

A Poem by khatoon hazara

my love- what has become of us?
the rotten, flaky dust covering our bodies seep into my pores and 
turn the once so soft and tender fragility into something monstrous.
i cower in fear of my scales. of my ruggedness. i press two fingers 
to the sides of my face and feel nothing but cold, cold despair. what is
 this hell i’ve brought down upon myself? why can’t i stand upright, why is 
everything upside down?

i am screaming, i’m banging my fists in an empty cellar door, 
begging to be let out but the shadow that stands beside me isn’t
 moving and i want to help.
i look down at it and ask it a question, “why did you do this to me, 
certainly it was i who brought such doom upon myself but i find that 
you’re to blame for my shortcomings... you were there and you never 
resisted hard enough. you were there and you never hated me.
 now we’re here and i’m growing scales on my face. i’m growing
 scales on my face and they’re hardening with each pause. so tell
 me, oh false god: why did you do this to me?”

but perhaps, perhaps that shadow was me. another version of me that 
was cruel and poisonous. perhaps she’s inside of me and got out, tricked
 me into a folly daze and brought this moment upon the both of us.
she turns her head- she was weak from the self beatings.
she turns her head and chuckles, “you’re such a fool, you know. you
 disgrace the names of lovers everywhere”

she has a snarl on her face, “perhaps i am a fool” i say with my
 head held high, starting to get up now, inching ever so slowly
 and carefully to the door, knowing full well that i no longer wanted
 to help this useless piece of s**t, “but you’ll never change, you’ll stay 
in your ways, thinking you’re pulling me down with you when i’m ever
 rising, you’ve burned me so much you’ve made ash on yourself- but i!” i 
let out a heartfelt rumble “i am better than you, my lowlife counterpart, 
and i vow never to let anyone tear me apart ever again!”

© 2019 khatoon hazara

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Added on November 14, 2019
Last Updated on November 14, 2019


khatoon hazara
khatoon hazara


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