she- whom i do not know

living every day
in this body
looking through these eyes-

but do i S E E her

do i K N O W who she is

i can feel her there
inside my chest
her heartbeat steady
badoom boom
again-
badoom boom
softly
slowly

this feeling she feels
sometimes i can feel it too, when 

the noise is low and the lights are 

angled just right i can hear the soft 

pats of the drum beating

other times when the environment is too noisy

- when the world won’t let me see straight

- too too filled with rage and the anticipation 

of ones journey to change habits
-
those times i can’t hear it anymore. heartbeat like 

a melody that plays like an orchestra- muddled, sandwiched 

between some happenstance and has-been, crying out 

of attention, nothing and no one coming to its aid
a....
a symphony of dreams straight through, marching: in 

a line- away they go.. desperate for approval they search 

elsewhere to buffoon their love

but she stays there in my chest
building a nest- hibernating as the tides change, she sits 

there and looks out through my eyes, keeping pace with the 

things happening outside while still able to maintain that same 

sense of “stagnant still” she’s perfected