The end of the line

I'm sorry I'm such a jerk. I love you.

Tell me you'll be there at the end of the line.

I'll tell you I'm sorry.

I'll mean it this time.

Just tell me you'll be there at the end of the line.

 

Like that night I got honest

after drinking your wine

and I opened my mouth,

but nothing came out as designed.

And I know that your father

left your head full of mines.

I hate him for that.

I don't pretend I'm divine.

But you are, you forgave me.

Our two hands intertwined.

Your face was so pretty,

your expression so kind.

I need to see that face,

need your hands on my spine.

 

So I pick up the phone,

words in my mouth and my mind.

I hope that you'll be there at the end of the line.

Author's Note

I can't quite get the flow of this one to work right. I'll probably be editing it over the next couple of days. Suggestions accepted and appreciated.

Reviews

[Breezie Kae]

I think the flow of this poem is really cool.
I can really relate to this poem.

[Dionysus Cain]

i thought it was pretty good, it had some good lines in there and a few other ones that werent as strong but i think that helped the flow. i dont see much you should changed if anything at all. just keep adding to it a little. it will fall together nicely..

[Exa Lectric]

I think in line 5 you could say 'like that night i was honest' instead of 'like that night i got honest'. that seems so fit better. (for me anyway.)

hope that helps!