The Aftermath Of A Suicide

A Poem by Kimiko Arya

How a girl sees her family and how she feels after she's committed suicide. It's a kind of warning to those who want to commit suicide.

So let me tell you a story,

One full if woe,
One full of pain.
One that'll make you scream,
One that'll fill you with shame.

My story is not a pretty one,
You may want to cover your ears
This isn't much fun
You may even cry a million tears.

I used to live on a pretty street
Where not much trouble you would meet.
The only trouble came from inside your home,
The only trouble you have known as you've grown.

My parents hated me,
My sister despised me so
Around me no one wanted to be
Always I cried alone.
Deep down they made me feel as if it were true,
That they no longer wanted me
So I did what I had to do
And headed for eternity.
But what I didn't know,
They really did care
They just didn't know how to show
Thruth be told, they were scared
Scared that I wouldn't accept them.

The night I chose to slip away
Was on my very own birthday
I figured, why stay another day?
I may as well go on the very day I came.

They found me that night lying in a pool of blood,
The tears I cried still shone on my pretty face,
The knife I used
Shoved through my throat
What a horrible way to go...

I slipped away slowly,
Awake til the very end,
I went so painfully,
Regretting killing myself so brutally.

Near the end,
I started to regret what I did,
I tried to stop the bleeding
But it was futile in the end
There was nothing I could do but watch
The silent tears slowly drip down my face
As I drifted away.

They found me seconds later,
Oh how I cried
To have my little sister
See how I died.
The look on her angelic face
Tore me apart inside.

That memory still haunts me so,
Even though I'm dead.
I'm no where near heaven,
They made m a ghost.

"This is your penance"
They said
"For all eternity
To wander sorrowfully
For what you did to your poor family."

I am still who I was on the day I died,
I still have those memories
The memories that keep me in
Complete agony.

I thought God was all forgiving,
I guess that's not true,
So for now I'll wander
And watch over my family
To make sure my little sister
Doesn't end up the same way
And have to do what I do
Forever.