Bye cruel love

A suicidal note

We had sunlight in the night,

Now I see full moon at dawn.

We had the fun of a life time,

Now all joy is gone.

You didn't tell me I was just an appetizer,

Should have told me I wasn't the real meal.

Maybe I'd have guarded my heart harder,

Maybe I wouldn't be standing on this bridge.

The river below me looks so calm

As peaceful as her face when she sleeps.

Love could be that thief that stole my heart,

But I'd be the assassin to take mine life!

This isn't poetry,

Its the last thing I wrote before I jumped

...and its the last thing i wrote before going to hell

Author's Note

please honest and constructive reviews

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoyed this too, liked the extended metaphor in the second verse.

[Archia]

I don't think they deserved to go to hell, but I liked more the touch it added to the end. This was told really nicely and the emotions came through. The rhyme, especially in the first stanza, was great.

[afra]

wow ....so dark and painful ....great write

[Stabitha]

Some would call this bleak, but I've been in the place you describe and I find it consoling to see the experience of unrequited love expressed honestly in your poem.

The pain of rejection is raw and brutal, you convey it accurately. Thank you.

[kingblaq]

Thanks very much for the nice review.

[MoriartyMesa]

Nice smooth flow with a thorn right to sting at the end.

[TL Boehm]

You didn't tell me I was just an appetizer,
Should have told me I wasn't the real meal.

Excellent line. I want to see resolution as I read this piece. I want to see the person step away from the bridge and release the hurt. I want a recovery from the broken....
But it is a good poem

[AK]

Wow! Stunning beauty:) I loved this poems, great write!

[Jyango Ryudo]

Kya! I loved is it gave me feeling all the way to the bottom of my heart. It makes me wanna give you a big hugs!!!!!!! Great job bud!

[Mauricio Montoya]

I like how this piece comes together the words fit in what you’re trying to say, your description what you’re saying allows me to visualize what I’m reading this is poetry as all writes are but this caught my attention because at one time or another I’ve shared in this fate.
Excellent write.

[Poppie Mira]

elegent, keep up the good work.