CLOUD!

I've been thinking of war - as a state of society and how it affects us, this is my collective thought.

Clouds fill cells craving times once gone,

Clear skin holds tales as old as Adam,

Counting nuggets of gold along the way,

Clicked fingers to passers-by can’t fathom.

 

Loud noises heard miles away are here,

Leaning forward for them to see me cry,

Left side, right side, which side is right?

Lonely men standing tall wait to die.

 

Outrage at women taking up arms in haste,

Ordinary life’s changed forever in time,

Ousted secrets seem frivolous don’t they?

Old generals must now come to terms with their crimes.

 

Under earth we bury flesh we once ate,

Usher the new man to tell us old commands,

Uprising's are coming we all know it’s true,

Unite my darlings I beg of you makes demands!

 

Doubt creeps in forever no matter how clear,

Desolate thoughts scratch temples to defend,

Double your efforts he told me or face your foe,

Deals made will never stop the inevitable end.

Author's Note

Enjoy and be honest.

Reviews

[quarintine_deathangel]

If you believe as far as Adam then you know the human race failed once XD the end is only inevitable if we don't wish to change it. Fight forthe good instead of mourning the evil and corrupt it's "The Good Left Undone"(Rise Against) that we should really consider. One of my personal favorite parts in the Bible is revalations when it explains the seven churches. Each was right in it's own vision but had a tragic wrong. I see it as a realization and humbling more than depressing, it says what not to do y'know? Inspiring and motivational I guess :3 so yeah if you wanna check that out..Revalations 1:4-3:22 it's interesting to analyze even if you aren't a Christian. Hope that helps! As always thankyou for writing, I love reading your work ^.^

[junaid altaf]

every verse is making a clear inclination about the bitter realities....
and thats what i like about this poem.
well composed

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you Junaid

[John Alexander McFadyen]

There is a stark brutal feel to this piece Thomas. As always it provides much food for thought. Some of the tenses threw me though?

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you John.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

needs some grammatical editing...

but a powerful write...doubt does creep in, and generals have to self-evaluate...

is what we really want? is it what we want to be made of? war ...
no one ever really wins....

i really like this theme...and you have such great lines...tweaking and this reads smoothly.

war to defend our land is one thing...it is survival...

but war for economic reasons or to show power? what a waste.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you Jacob

[Sam A]

The ideas and images are moving though it feels like it needs some polish. I would do the work if it were me, because this piece has loads of potential. (I say all of this as a flawed poet myself).

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Indeed, thank you Sam

[rhythm&blues]

Potent imagery and feelings derived from this piece, nice work.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[SyberRose]

We can't underestimate the significance of this wonderful piece Thomas...Nicely penned as always...Rose

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[SyberRose]

I meant can't Thomas...not can

[Shane Mohamed]

Great imagery and metaphors Thomas. You're in a league of your own buddy. Bravo!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you Shane

[Sami Khalil]

An amazing write that shows your love and care for humanity and how man misinterprets things for their own advantage to keep the greed and money machines going full speed selling weapons like crazy to enemies who are intent on killing each other , flaming hatred all the time , wants to be the superior dogs or mucho men...Well done poet...:)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Renée]

Incredible piece of work Mr. Fitzgerald.. old, new ...thoughts of war all mixed together for the thoughts are the same I do believe in any century... the closing line finishes it tastefully..seeming to remind us, as much as we wish we could.. there is no stopping the "cycles of war

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you x

[Renée]

It was my pleasure ( :

[Mark]

It's such a huge part of human history. Will there ever be an end? 'Deals made will never stop the inevitable end.' I guess that can be interpreted in different ways...

'Ousted secrets seem frivolous don't they?' Love that line!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x