A Story by kite kid

How fear of changing is mostly crap until crude and narcissistic themes come up to bite some ethical part of your brain on the a*s. But be well assured that time and effort was somewhat put in.


Did you know that 13% of your brain lives in constant fear? If not then this should be fun, not only for me but also for to you.

Fear is a natural response that shouldn’t be seen as negative, especially when it can enlighten the mind in so many fun ways. Think on the topic of fear and how it creeps up at you. It could be anything that you perceive as dangerous to yourself, to your identity, but most likely you fear is the same as mine and that is “change” of that fear. That the fear itself will evolve becoming stronger, then that 13% is grown to become a tumor that is dangerously close to your heart. But change is needed to fight off this fear and so what if we grew to understand and not label that fear as either good or evil.

It’s crazy not to label things right? If we are found guilty of a sin, it’s only because we lost the war. The winners of war decide on the way history is told. And if fear is close to winning the war it’s only because you were too weak to change. Thusly your fear becomes the epic hero that defeated the dictatorship over free will. Will change come easily? I don’t know. Fear has already overcame me, I’ve submitted and given myself a new view to life and the world is wonderful. Because the world went blank.

The world as it is today needs a new level of fear that will stimulate the viewer (being you) into a trance of enlightenment that should cause your thinking to become more flexible. Thus to an extent where labels such as good and evil can be broken down concept that can be rooted back from common insanity. The same insane ideas that come from geniuses that made the world more evolved through moral and technological struggles.

But still that 13% of fear you have, amounts to nothing but wasted space for insecurities such as my own. Nevertheless, fear should be taken as something of a challenge. So never giving up, trying to climb out of your mind, killing your fear, and bully your insecurity to the ground until it starts………

Maybe I’m being a little extrinsic but it only because the world went blank. I wish that no one would talk to me while I walk down the street and also hoping to be noticed too. Act Welcoming to those Goth friends of mine but once I see a cool kid, I ditch those losers and see how I can prove myself to the cool gods of the land. Watching with a judging smile to people around me. Because of this I’ve become the master of that 13%. I made that part of my brain into my slave (but no offense to black Jesus). I will say that am not so arrogant to not notice that I’m self-centered. So what, I’m only trying to stroke my own ego a little before that fear of mine takes me by the hair and takes me into some rat infested ally way for me to die in.

 What I’m writing right now is supposed to be my final for English about fear but I said to myself “what the hell, Mrs.Finly can have a damn heart attack.” But hopefully she’ll die from being lonely because she chose “Christian Mingle” over “eHarmony” (even after she’s an atheist).

But this isn’t my manifesto of hormonal anger issues but it research slash hate write. But this was all sparked off by the little concept of fear and what it means to me personally. And truly the fear that affects me is “change”. That your identity will be warped by the future that doesn’t guarantees anything. But to those people that say “life is supposed to be unpredictable”, are the same people that fear the rejection of the world, who walk outside the house wearing the same clothes that they see on people that have confidence to actually pull it off, and those that hate big oil and protest that the earth is going to hell because of use of fossil fuels but will the protesters give any other ideas that are eco-friendly while also economical friendly. These people are wanting to “change” however they don’t have originality to separate themselves with the other 5 million people that’s wearing the same seasonal getup from old navy. In the words of a humble person like myself I couldn’t help but laugh while writing that last bit. Nevertheless fear of myself changing is what keeps me blocked out of the world that is ever growing.

So I bored up my windows, I invest in phony insurance, and all at once preach about YOLO. With that I should be protected from the world that wants me to adopt it social changes and its new views within this generation of mine. But I don’t want change, change is that kid in the mid-west that gets bullied to the state of almost killing himself but before he tips the chairs over and for the noose to tighten around his neck. He realizes why not kill those bullies at the school and so he goes grabs a gun out of nowhere like if he was in America and goes straight to school to indulge in that change of once being a victim to then becoming an even worse person than those who bullied him. And in the end those victims who got shot get to be on CNN for about a week and the kid who is now a murderer is deciding if he should have KFC or Burger king’s whopper pounder, for his last meal. Getting in to the mindset of a killer is somewhat tiring. But be my guest and argue with me about the ethics of how a kid can be bullied and deciding if he wants to kill himself or maybe change into those kids you see being convicted of man slaughter in the highest degree and smiling at the camera because now he’s going to die knowing that his fears of being bullied ever again are now a day dream roasting in hell.

“Change” is scary and I know, this was originally supposed to be about that 13% of your brain full of fear that should………blab. Really this essays about me me me and you’re not welcomed to comment because that little child inside you that’s screaming “right on man” is telling a simple truth. A truth that has so much more depth and texture than those insecurities analysis that you get from your therapist because I’m not telling you to stop eating your feelings, to stop smoking, to stop burning objects, and I’m not telling you that morals accounts to what you feel is right or what is wrong when you within a certain moment in your life. But “change” is the pathed road you place your self in which determines if you’re going to become a dirt bag or that crazy person talking to their Imaginary friend. So be in this moment right now is the best possible moment, where we know are surrounding just well enough that we don’t need to assume but can be assured that things won’t change. However the second that you peak outside that door into the reality of your environment is when that fear that can’t even be measured by percentages will become what you most doubt and fear.

So please become the person you want to become but realize that now is what can be maintained and the future is unseen with various path that has a 13% percent chance of failure where ever you turn. 

© 2015 kite kid

Author's Note

kite kid
do as you wish

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Added on June 26, 2015
Last Updated on July 1, 2015
Tags: narcissistic, essay, fear, bitterness, fiction


kite kid
kite kid

seattle, WA

so basically, 1. Im selfish 2. really content with my surroundings. 3. love catcher in the rye maybe because i view myself as not really optimistic person. 4. i like to lie 5. i like writing an.. more..