A Story by KJVollaro

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get least for a while



Why is everything burning?  I can taste the smoke surrounding me, blanketing me in a field of grey.  It hurts too much to open my eyes, so I flail around blindly.  I fumble about, hands stretched and longing for the wall.  My fingers trace them to the corner, the wood splintering, singeing me.  All I can hear are the screams, seeping through the corridors, down into my room.  I can't find the door.  I remember that the window is barred, useless.  There is only one means of egress, one chance for escape, one last hope to wish for.


Wise men have said that survival is the strongest urge on the human palette of emotion.  I had hoped I'd never grasp how true that is.  Now it is here, the instincts have arrived.  I know the door is locked from the outside, but I seek it out regardless.  Maybe if I can summon enough adrenalin, I can work my way through it.  This is what I have become, a singular thought; a prayer.


My lungs begin to ache, throbbing more with each pained breath.  I weigh the difference between moving quicker, to hasten my escape, or slower, to conserve what little air I have remaining.  From behind closed eyelids, I can feel the light, oceans of reds and yellows invading what was once violet.  I struggle for another shallow breath.  The coughing comes more frequently with each hesitant step.  Heat screams into my head as I force my eyes open, scanning the room between blinks.  I rarely noticed the amber glow of the emergency light caged outside my door.  It had become like old wallpaper, so constant that it almost ceased to exist.  Now it has morphed into my beacon, the light of a thousand torches guiding me onward.  My arms drop to my sides and I follow the glow.


The flames, the cries of anguish, have become deafening.  I can't hear myself think.  I reach out and brush against something solid, the door, the only love still existing in my dwindling life.  I throw myself against it, meaningless.  Over and over I hurl my full weight against the steel.  I feel my shoulder separate, the pain racing up through my neck and remember how lucky I am to have also been given a left side.  As my onslaught continues, I hear a snap, sense a slight sway in the frame.  My heart races, pounds through my chest, pulses what little oxygen there is left.  One more push, one more try and I'll be free.  I smash my body one more time.  The hinges finally creak their approval, allowing me to pass through.  Escape is just a sprint away. 


Hope pours through my limbs like new blood.  Release has come, finally come.  I can taste the spray from a lake; smell the wood from the bare floors of a cabin.  My body aches to feel these memories, any memories.  A day spent in traffic, a mosquito bite, a night spent awake with the clamor of city streets, any of life's petty annoyances will be welcomed now, even embraced.  Relief washes over me, joy saturates my soul.




I sit up; sweat pouring down my naked back.  I rub my eyes and inch them open slightly.
I quietly, slowly, hesitantly inhale, deeper now, deeper still.  I turn my head from side to side, examining my surroundings and nothing has changed.  Same white walls, same barred window, same ignored amber light, same stale air through the vents.

Everything just as I left it.

© 2008 KJVollaro

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I think this is a very solid piece. I particularly like this writing because I can relate to it; I write in a similar way. I think you do a good job at conveying emotion, and your vivid description really helps draw the reader in. There are some sentences where commas are misused or used unnecessarily, but that would be my only complaint. With a little elbow grease I think this could be a very good piece that could see great things. Keep writing!

Posted 3 Years Ago

Nice imagery and twist at the end. You hold the suspense well while adding the end twist. The description is good, and it was well written. XX

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow......the opening paragraph is what had caught my attention. I'm going to be honest. I thought you were talking about me. Nice ending Vollaro

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I really enjoyed this story. It was attention getter from the very first sentence. I'm a huge fan of twists at the end and yours blew my mind.
great write

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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4 Reviews
Added on February 5, 2008
Last Updated on February 21, 2008



Warren, RI

A man has an idea. It's not an idea that will change the world, but if it can change just one soul, when accomplished, it will all have been worthwhile. Everyday literate people read. It makes no diff.. more..