a part of the flowers

would the grass 
take me in, 
dissolve me, 
allow me 
to grow back 
as the flowers 

or would the sun 
take me in, 
evaporate me, 
allow me 
to rain back down 
on the flowers 

no 

I'll just sleep here 
still and quiet 
and eventually 
after months or minutes 
weeks or hours 
they'd come
searching for me 
when the insects disappear 
and the birds 
chase each other 
in looming circles 
only to find me
a part of the flowers

Reviews

[kitty blur]

Yep. I like your writing style.

The repetition of the flowers was wonderful, and I loved the way that it ended the stanzas in slightly different wording each time. All stanza itself provided a marginally different meaning to the phrase (being the flowers, raining on the flowers, eventually being part of the flowers). Gosh, I liked all of these ideas and pictured them all in such a nice way due to your word choice and break of the lines. And the 'no' in the middle - fantastic. It captured my attention like a door slam. The poem was just flowing along and then stopped abruptly. Very powerful, makes sure that you have the reader's full attention as they read and absorb the last stanza.

I have no critiques. I loved the rhythm and the creativity behind this. You made me want to be part of the flowers, too.

[klsy]

wow thank you so much! this poem has always had a special place in my heart. it was one of the very first serious ones i wrote.