Like Clockwork (pt. 1)

It started with passion

We were so young then

So innocent

 

And we took what we wanted

From everything

From each other

 

There was no repercussion

We were beautiful

Like clockwork

 

And we swore that we would never change.

 

But passion begot lust

And our desire

took over

 

And our innocence was gone

So quickly lost

Amidst our lust

 

But we were still like clockwork

Not broken

Though flawed

 

And we did not want to be the same.

 

I remember when the flaws

Within our clockwork

became holes

 

And gears and cogs fell through them

And the great clock stopped

And would not start

 

I tried, but could not fix it

So I put it

in your hands

 

And I told you that it was my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Critique, criticize, advise~! Tell me what you think :D

Reviews

[TheKaylaPup]

I like it. I really like how it tells a story (and a better love story than twilight at that). Is there going to be another part?

Also, your work is inspiring. Do you mind if I attempt a story from this poem?

[Kaitlyn]

^.^ I don't mind at all. Go ahead.

[TheKaylaPup]

Thanks!

[durrya]

oh - the last line is saying it all!
love this

[Kaitlyn]

Thank you very much :)

[durrya]

you are welcome.

[Dr. Wood ?]

Oh I love this...it is seamlessly beautiful and stunningly simple..quite brilliant.

[Kaitlyn]

:) Thank you very much! I'm glad that you liked it!

[Distant horizons]

Very nicely done. I like the feel of the deteriaration of innocence, learning, living and learning some more.We all feel these things, but not all learn from them. Thanks for sharing.

[Kaitlyn]

:) Thank you. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it!

[Distant horizons]

:-)