I wish...

about my ex-boyfriend and i

At times when I'm stuck feeling like this

I wish that I had never met you,

because then I could have skipped out on all the pain

that you put (and are still putting) me through.

I wish I had never believed your first lie,

wish I had never accepted your first apology.

I wish that I could have seen you for who you were

and not the "god" I held you up to be.

I wish that when you first punched me in the Hilton,

that I had punched you back;

I wish that I had had the nerve to say no

and take my confidence and morals back.

I wish I hadn't gotten drunk and blacked out

and woke up to men watching us f**k.

I wish that I hadn't been so so stupid and naive

and believed in "love", "fate", and "luck".

I wish I hadn't looking into your eyes

expecting you to heal my pain,

and I wish I hadn't looked into your eyes

expecting exactly the same.

I wish you hadn't jammed those pills into my hand,

and I wish I hadn't taken them so willingly,

I wish that you could have been my man

instead of some man who came to my aid too quickly.

I wish you had never looked at that little girl like that,

I wish I had seen the signs,

the signs that I was growing "too old"

and would soon be left behind.

I wish I could remember what happened before

I got stabbed in the hand,

I wish I could remember why I thought

you were the perfect man.

I wish you hadn't kicked me out of the car

in the middle of the rain and snow,

I wish you hadn't hit me with the GPS

and called me a hoe.

I wish we could of loved each other,

instead of chasing something that didn't exist,

I wish I had walked away from you

after our first kiss.

I wish that I'd never left the state,

I wish that things had turned out differently,

I wish you were still alive with a second chance,

but that's the way things have to be.

Author's Note

tell me what you think, much more will be added

Reviews

[Perfect Mistake]

So much emotions are roaming throught evry stanza/line. Very well-written. Good work :3

[外人 (Gaiji..]

That was pretty intense and looks like a confession you had to do so i'm glad you got it off your chest in this "virtual paper" :)

[GunMetal]

I can't say that I'm too fond of list poems. I get bored easily with too much repetition, but that is just my opinion, and doesn't reflect how I feel about the content. It's unfortunate that you have gone through such a hardship at the hands of someone who was out for himself, and regardless of whether or not you exacerbated the problem by ignoring it. The only thing you can do is learn from your shortcoming. I hope someday you reach a place where you can be at peace with everything that happened. "Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past." ~Buddy Wakefield. Keep writing.

[nigrum homonculus]

holy crap this is all true? the fact you wrote about it so well just shows you have grown a lot from it...i respect that. well done

[afra]

awwwwww this poem is really sad but still i love it

[Cameron]

Ouch, I'm so sorry this all happened. Of all the things to come from this, was this emotional piece that in itself is beauty that was born from the ugly. Well done.