Wal-Mart Run

Wal-Mart Run

A Poem by J. James Reider

                        I have been....................Wondering where you are

            waiting for you..................in my time of need

             for hours on end.................and my chest aches

 you said you'd be back soon.............and my heart is tingling

 but you were with him................I think I am dying

    and our love, it has turned stale...............please somebody help me

                      so this is how it ends..................can you die from a broken heart?

© 2008 J. James Reider


Author's Note

J. James Reider
My first attempt at a Trigee Acrostic (Thanks Underdog) and this is how it goes. There should be three seperate poems here, but I added the extra element of the hidden words and hidden meaning as they are not necessary in such a piece.

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Featured Review

Don't JUST thank Underdog. The form was invented by my friend C. T. Bailey, who challenged me to write one as a big joke so I did, and then made a contest here on the cafe, which ended back in October. Alliteration was added to that one too.
Now the extra hidden words. THOSE ARE AWESOME. I wish you woulda entered my contest. There weren't many entries, but it's now voting.
You rock. Takes real talent to play with words on this level.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I did one of these about 7 years ago but nobody actually got it until I performed the piece with different people voicing different segments of the poem. I'm glad to see the form take flight. I've never tried a four poem splice. That was tremendous.

Posted 7 Years Ago


damn.

This is one tough piece to put together, and you pulled it off.

Great fundamentals, the fourth poem is slightly confusing, but I got it, and it is cool

This is a great piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm getting the hang of it! Not sure I could do one, but I rather like the trick of it! But pulling it off! Your poem is full of that certain torment that follows the crash and burn stage of love! Enjoyed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow - this is amazing. You have succeeded in giving me three headaches with some hidden eye twitches thrown in although they are not necessary. You people and your poetry, sheesh!
Love it by the way!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Oh, and here's a link to that contest. Go check it out and vote! The one I wrote is in the description. Not nearly as clever as yous.
Alliterative Acrostic Trigee? What the Heck is That?Jul 2, 2008 - Oct 13, 2008

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Don't JUST thank Underdog. The form was invented by my friend C. T. Bailey, who challenged me to write one as a big joke so I did, and then made a contest here on the cafe, which ended back in October. Alliteration was added to that one too.
Now the extra hidden words. THOSE ARE AWESOME. I wish you woulda entered my contest. There weren't many entries, but it's now voting.
You rock. Takes real talent to play with words on this level.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this form of poetry. It's so dynamic! Haven't found the inspiration to do one myself.

Sad theme, but one that many have experienced. Ah life, the great mystery. But where else can we explore but through the written word.

Excellent piece!

Mark

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very interesting piece, Jeff. It's definately unique and it makes the reader think about it. I've never heard of a Trigee Acrostic poem. Entertaining nonetheless!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH....you be so dang tricky! I love the extra hidden words...that is too cool ! I'm not worthy !!!!! I'm not worthy !!!!


ps...YOU ROCK!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 22, 2008
Last Updated on November 22, 2008

Author

J. James Reider
J. James Reider

Eighty Four, PA



About
Hello to my friends at the Cafe. I wanted to inform you I will be leaving the Cafe effective February 1st to pursue other interests. I have met some good friends and great writers over the time I.. more..

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