Queen of Hearts

Sometimes when you hurt, you need to get it out without bleeding.

you say you are sorry

she just can not believe it

you set her up for a fall

and one might think you enjoy it

 

you never mean to hurt her

at least that's what you say

promising never to do it again

but it never turns out that way

 

"I'm trying!" is all she hears

but you are falling hard

this is a tired game you play

and there is but one last card

 

the queen of hearts is torn

she may not last this night

once played and done with

she won't even win the fight

 

disappear into Pain's deck

lost amidst the dark space

useless, unloved, forgotten

I doubt you will remember her face

 

Are you happy now?

Reviews

[The Viking]

Very nice parallel between the narrator and a card in a deck. Pain's deck to be exact. It seems to be all the cards in the deck are past lover's that the subject of this poem "played", or basically hurt and tore up until there was nothing left, then just shuffled them back in and drew someone else. Very nice use of symbolism.

[Sami Khalil]

I like the analogy and the poem...Bravo

[Greg the Bard]

Following a work that is not thought out before it is put on paper is how I viewed this work. It is very good with good images but it could be better if given some thought. I like to write my pomes on paper before I put them on the Cafe. That way I can look over them and add or subtract to the lines as I go. I really like the flow in your work but in one or two lines I had to look for rhyme. That took away from the enjoyment of the read. Great work!

[Anonymous]

It might have been better if you had just left it at "remember her face" instead of adding "Are you happy now?" at the end, it flows better. Besides that I really liked it, I was wondering at the begin how you were going to tie in the name "Queen of hearts"? and I sorta get the analogy, but not really. But hey I still liked it

[JRB]

you never mean to hurt her

at least that's what you say

promising never to do it again

but it never turns out that way

to offen said,,,,, nice thoughts

[Curiosity and Black Ang..]

This is a back and forth kind of thing.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Dang this is so brutally honest and deeply gut wrenching...

disappear into Pain's deck
lost amidst the dark space
useless, unloved, forgotten
I doubt you will remember her face


this stanza really got me... feeling like your already forgotten.
Really wonderful work.

[Frank Terino]

The meter and rhyme form set the flow in motion, the heartfully projected meaning of lovers despair brought the words to life, to feel the urgency, powerful, artistic and abstract, everything I like in a poem

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Mmm, wow, this is a really great piece. Very nicely written and you did a wonderful job. Nice work!!!

Heather

[Tabbi]

I love this! So true. Going in my favs!