Our Time is Gone

Our Time is Gone

A Poem by BlueLagoon
"

A sentimental song/poem I wrote for a friend to the beat of "Whered You Go" by Fort Minor.

"

I remember the first time I saw you the thought’s a little vague

But you walked to the podium and lit up my stage

Then you gave me a smile which brightened the day

I mean you dried up the sadness and cleared out the rage


My mind was stuck in a book on some played-out page

Where the words were the bars but you unlocked the cage

And I’ll finally admit I was thinking “Get Laid”

But you taught me to stand up and not be afraid

                                   

I was at war with myself and you stood there with aid

Stitching my wounds when I was cut with the blade

I swear you’re somebody unique made in Taipei

Cuz you’re absolutely worth much more than I paid


You turned on the charm when you first bit your lip

It’s so cute you don’t recognize you do that s**t

Got me so damn hard with blood rushing to the tip

I know you’re not 18 but be mature for a bit


Tango with our bodies and dance with our lips

Feeling up and down those curvy Indian hips

Rub on the lamp and with a magical wisp

I’ll grant you your having those two kids wish ( =D)


Fun in the dark but the lights turned on

This marks the point where I learned about John

You may not want to listen and you may begin to yawn

Cuz’ I talk about my hate for him on and on


When you told me you loved him my mind went gone

I cut all the cords and became withdrawn

Hand on my face thinking I’m just a pawn

Depressed in the night while I waited for the dawn


There’s nothing to say though cuz’ I’ve just appeared

It’s hard to compete he’s ahead 2 years

Maybe down the road we could share a couple beers

Meet one more time before we start our careers


I’m trying to stay up and give a little cheer

But my mind’s on vacation and my will isn’t here

My heart’s getting heavy cuz’ it’s soaking with fear

Thinking if I even want to see you next year


I’m so alone while Justine gets Drake

Why can’t we hold hands and run past our mistakes?

Sitting on the bench while we look at the lake

Staring at each other till our eyelids break


Princess Jasmine please stay awake

I don’t ever, ever wanna end this date

I hope that this was all not for fake

I beg that you be real at least for my sake


Your life’s gone south took a turn for the worse

It hurts real bad like a burn to the earth

You grew up screwed and ashamed of your birth

You’re stuck in the mud tryin’ to hit a reverse


But we are here girl we got your back

We pull up our trucks and attach our latch

It’ll take some work but you’ll be back on track

I know it’s some s**t but we all face crap


Put my foot on your pedal and my hand on your clutch

Shift through the gears so we both feel the rush

Blow through the traffic and tear things up

We could either be home free or end up crushed


I offered a drink but you refused the cup

I cannot understand why I still give a f**k

What kind of love is where your hearts don’t touch?

 but I just guess I asked for too much and now our time is gone

© 2011 BlueLagoon


Author's Note

BlueLagoon
Let me know what you think.

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d
well, i like the whole idea of it. but it somehow starts to strike me as a list. it is not that the parts don't relate but i think they need something to fall back on. i think a poem can't be rewritten too much. you just save the versions you like and they may turn out to be many. i think this one has great potential. honestly, when i first took a look, i said to myself, "too much to read... not now". but i read it anyway and it did draw me in. there is a story in there that people want.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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d
what kind song will it be? genre? and if you're stuck, just set it aside awhile. it's worth more effort, sooner or later.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
d
well, i like the whole idea of it. but it somehow starts to strike me as a list. it is not that the parts don't relate but i think they need something to fall back on. i think a poem can't be rewritten too much. you just save the versions you like and they may turn out to be many. i think this one has great potential. honestly, when i first took a look, i said to myself, "too much to read... not now". but i read it anyway and it did draw me in. there is a story in there that people want.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think you need to put breaks in there. A lot of them. That's a wall of text that's very daunting to read without some visual breaking up.



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 20, 2011
Last Updated on July 27, 2011
Tags: fort, minor, time, gone, sentimental

Author

BlueLagoon
BlueLagoon

Miami, FL



About
I am an upstart writer who has just accepted and is embracing the fact that writing may be my calling. I was always able to write really well but never really bothered to cultivate my skills until now.. more..

Writing
I'm Blank I'm Blank

A Poem by BlueLagoon