MAIDEN VOYAGE

MAIDEN VOYAGE

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

05 05 11

"
Oh how the greenery
of your embedded scenery
siren-whipped
the voyage of a young tongue,
drained of the froth of ambition,
and spin-cycled through hot-decibled
Krakens of over-achievements
and poor judgements.

Dry and abrasive as an obvious pun,
I scaled your lilac estate of purple and white.
Now with your audience laid out before my dead end,
I come to you a guilty boy,
having milked the innocence of goosebump fishing
in the salt-tickled rills
of your flannel estuary.

© 2012 kublakhan27


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Featured Review

So many wild images here -

spin-cycled through hot-decibled
Krakens of over-achievements
and poor judgements...

Ah, the indiscretions of the past... For some reason, as I read "I come to you a guilty boy..." I thought of George Michael's line "Guilty feet have got no rhythm..." As always, you give my imagination a much-needed workout, Steve!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Haha I hadn't thought of that line my friend...so glad I could kickstart your imagination, thank yo.. read more



Reviews

Wow. This poem blew me away, Steve. As Rita said, "so many wild images here". I look forward to reading more of your poems and explore other wild imageries.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thanks so much Arzel, I look forward to keeping in touch with your writing as well :)
Is there a reason why the word 'young' is highlighted?

You have left me speechless, Kublakhan - Loved this one though!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

No, I'm not sure why it's highlighted...glad you loved this one Sye, thank you :)
So many wild images here -

spin-cycled through hot-decibled
Krakens of over-achievements
and poor judgements...

Ah, the indiscretions of the past... For some reason, as I read "I come to you a guilty boy..." I thought of George Michael's line "Guilty feet have got no rhythm..." As always, you give my imagination a much-needed workout, Steve!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Haha I hadn't thought of that line my friend...so glad I could kickstart your imagination, thank yo.. read more
An excellent piece my friend. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Many thanks Raymond :)
What a voyage! The guilt notwithstanding. The salt-tickled rills and flannel estuary blew ny mind as did 'lilac estate of purple and white. I remember someone saying a little guilt was always a side accompaniment of pleasure. Thanks for giving me a chance to savor this fine piece of writing. Much appreciated.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

I agree with that actually...maybe it's the way we're brought up haha Thanks so much Divya, I'm glad.. read more
DIVYA

7 Years Ago

The pleasure was all mine :)
Oh, this has got to be my fave of yours so far! Goosebump fishing! Love it!!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Very cool review KL, many thanks :)
Oh, you play innocent, my sweet... there is something to be said about an enigmatic mind...

You don't play fair...you're wicked! lol

Your abrasive words are softened by subtle and sensual tenderness, such as "lilac" and "milked innocence"...

You confuzzle me!... never a dull moment reading your art...

Abstract at it's finest, Stevie!~xoxo~;)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robbie~xoxo~

7 Years Ago

*Except*~Typo! lol
kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Haha It's only my imagination that's more naughty...then again that's still me anyway ;) Thanks hun .. read more
Robbie~xoxo~

7 Years Ago

well then, there you go! lol
You are most welcome, love..XXXX :)
I enjoyed the voyage... Good one KK

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed it A, many thanks.
A. Amos

7 Years Ago

Always do bro and your most welcome
Definitely stratospheric yet feminine blown under tows below, kyphotic spine tingling tones..I love the sprawled imagery and to be honest being a titanic freak since the age of 6, (I might add before she was ever discovered) when I hear the words maiden and voyage together, automatically, I get that icy dark feeling of time passing by with the essence of 1912 mounts. This piece has some what of that inner dark yet unmistakable measure now oxidizing the brewing element it once was 2 and half miles down below a surfaced joint ..excellent piece.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad it was able to conjure up those images for you, thank you Mojo.
"dry and abrasive as an obvious pun"

wish i had said that...

this is a salt-tickled ride that tickles flannel in me....i am such a guilty boy for my many transgressions, even if they were just in my mind.

but i also feel "drained of the froth of ambition"

i rely on contentment with where i am, and who i am...

but poor judgments do haunt don't they?

powerful write, Steve....

still digesting...and milking it for all it is worth.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Haha I'm sure we're all guilty of something, real or imagined...yes even then I was talking about, a.. read more

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799 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on July 26, 2012
Last Updated on July 26, 2012
Tags: maiden, greenery, scenery, tongue, dry, abrasive, pun, goosebump, flannel, estuary

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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