REMEDIAL SUN

08 28 12

"I have been studying how I may compare
This prison where I live unto the world;
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it.  Yet I'll hammer it out."
             -Shakespeare, Richard II, Act V.I

The world I fathom rhetorically orbits
around the whirr of a dust-peppered
triad of turbine limbs
inbreeding infinitely as electricity's
treaty permits
into a smorgasbord whirl of
processed plastic white

A remedial sun I compose
to counter outside's oven bulb
in the world I do not fathom

Heat's sniper of humidity
is not lost on me
with no canonized sense
even to establish it with

And even my own remedial sun
restricts a reality-knighting touch
with its ozone cage pried open
in unseen haste - a victim
of college's fugitive waltz
encased in the jazz fusion dance hall
of the world I cannot fathom

Is there a dual left-footed
interpretive dance of a carbon dimension
outside of reality's steaming kitchen
to fathom me?

Author's Note

I can't remember the last time I've been so depressed upon posting one of my works. This poem is the equivalent of throwing my hands in the air, then burying my head in them. I wrote this literally just minutes ago, and it took about an hour. I'm struggling...this is the first thing I've written in a month or so. Maybe there is some solid poetry in here, but it doesn't feel like it. Anyways, enough of the sob story. Here's my newest poem...I imagine I'll go back to it sometime.

Reviews

[The Random Writings Of ..]

Throwing your hands up in the air and burying your head in them??? My friend, your work here is a spiral of words that produces pain and you stated a world you cannot fathom. It is a place of darkness in which you will overcome. You may see this as a piece that is not solid, but I disagree. It is authoritative, strong, and the analogy's used to describe the state of mind are unwavering. Your quote at the beginning sets up the mood for the piece perfectly. Well written

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much Kate...that really does make me feel better and more confident than I did before I posted it *hugs*

[KeelyJane]

A talented and soulful person such as you ought to know how magical and profound your words are. Have no doubt about that. The imagery in this speaks volumes and says so much about your ability to capture your own emotions. No matter how dark of a place they come from, you bring them to light by making something beautiful out of it. Thank you for sharing and know that you're worth the read. :)

[kublakhan27]

You have brought a smile to my face with your kind words...thanks so much :)

[Frieda P]

Deep & dark, like shades of chocolate, except not as yummy, shades of Cohen, he could read this one aloud, and I'd think it might be his....'processed plastic white'...is there anything more depressing?

'Is there a dual left-footed
interpretive dance of a carbon dimension
outside of reality's steaming kitchen
to fathom me?'

I thought you didn't write dance lyrics, it's just to a different drummer....glad you've come around since then, now you're just certifiably insane. Well done...

[kublakhan27]

Haha I forgot about the dance reference in this one till I went back to it tonight...I would have sent it to you earlier if I hadn't ;) And I notice you've countered with a chocolate reference...have I given you food for thought with that quote the other day, literally and figuratively? ;P I won't say I was insane when I wrote this but I was definitely in a nasty place...it's one of my most personally accurate pieces and it's evolved into one that I hold rather close to my heart for that reason...I'm glad you like it cuz it's very much me ;)

[Frieda P]

Yep you got beat, I should say rhythm, that doesn't sound good, you just didn't know it, I want to snap my fingers to the sad tune of silence in this one. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha what, you don't think I have rhythm? ;P Hello darkness my old friend...

[Frieda P]

I've come to talk to you again...woooo I can hear Lenny! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha :D

[quinfinn]

i find this mildly amusing though it is a stoically serious write, because it reminds me of the beat poets of the 50's and 60's in the early Dylan years. this is awesome . i mean this truly speaks. even though it unravels like wet vermicelli it has so much order it is ridiculous. what a great write!

[kublakhan27]

You have officially "figured me out" my friend...of course you always knew me well but you have echoed the sentiment I've received from several others in the past...according to quite a few people, my voice falls in line with the Beatnik era if I were to make a connection of that sort...in spite of the original comments I left with this one, it has since evolved into one of my personal favourites, I'm talking top ten and maybe even top five if I thought about it for a while...it means a lot to know you like this one, and that it resonated with you :)

[quinfinn]

fear not, beatnik....resonate it does!

[kublakhan27]

:D

[TLK]

You are trying to write a prison for your own thoughts: a textual Panopticon.

But you will escape it; you will always escape yourself. For you are but a moment of yourself, and a moment is when you act, and when you act the moment becomes solid. But as you then reaches you now the gulf of time -- although measured in the vibration of an electron -- is so wide that you have already changed.

How can you chain that which vibrates through matter?

Look to your remedial sun. It casts light on a carbon dimension. You exist in that dimension, yet you speed past it at the velocity of thought. Gravity is a conservative force, yet you can still slingshot around planets and accelerate in reference to the solar plane -- the planet itself, though, sees no change.

It is these kinds of relativistic mysteries that make life bearable.

[kublakhan27]

Indeed...I was certainly orbiting around several inner philosophies when this was written...it was just one of those days where it was hot and humid outside as well as inside my place, I was fighting the writer's block, and was generally depressed cuz it was all stewing inside me as I struggled to find the words to define it...this final outcome did little to ease that depression, but as the reviews I've received have generally been positive since, my mind has been put as ease and life has been made a little more bearable...till the next mood swing anyway :P

[TLK]

Buddhists say "life is suffering". I see no evidence that they are wrong.

My version is "you are not supposed to be happy". In fact, the main cause for unhappiness is the expectation of happiness. This is unhealthy. People will say to you things like: look. Look at those who are needy and starving. Why are you sad? And the proper response is: because you want me to be guilty in the middle of my unwanted plenty. Because I was given this without being asked if I wanted it. Because there is no preparation for life; we simply shove each other out into all its possibilities and let them waste their chances before they even know they had them.

I am happy when I am happy. When I am not happy, I try to realise why, and often I find it is simply because you cannot be happy forever.

But it always comes around again, and I am always thankful for it.

[kublakhan27]

There's a quote from a great rock star (Robert Plant) that I refer to quite regularly: "I don't think happiness is a permanent state; I think it's just a sort of treaty you sign with your emotions at the time." That is more or less the sentiment I hear in your words, which are words to live by. I couldn't have summed it up any better than you have here.

[TLK]

Heh, Robert Plant is a local boy. Perhaps there is some happy melancholy within the West Midlands that we have both imbibed.

I definitely agree with him on this one (even if I can't agree with his hair).

[kublakhan27]

Haha you are fortunate to live in a vicinity that spawned most of the great rock stars of the last couple of generations...the English Midlands have much to do with the sculpting of rock and roll as we know it, assuming one can wade through the jungle of hair they left in their wake...

[TLK]

This has taught me something about happiness:
http://www.writerscafe.org/WanderingIdiot%3A%29

[kublakhan27]

Wow...I'm speechless...my Dad died from Cancer this spring so I can understand what she's feeling to an extent...all I can do is keep her in my thoughts and hope she doesn't do anything rash...

[paradoxical]

I really needed this. I am currently suffering from the mighty writers block, and this has both encouraged me and depressed me at the same time. Clearly you dealt with it much better than I have. Great work too, by the way.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks, I'm glad you like it :) I still know how you feel though...that was the first thing I wrote almost all summer, and it's now been over a month since I wrote this, so I'm still struggling. Winter tends to be my most creative season though so I'm hoping it will kickstart me again this year.

[Androglossia]

I remember one poem of yours similar to this, or the way you wrote it. I even called it equivalent to an abstract painting. The poem though once again a challenge, contained that one single line that made me comprehend and that is "the world I do not fathom". And I guess what I feel towards your poem is what you felt upon writing this piece. I think this is all about being unable to penetrate to the meaning or nature of a certain feeling or situation. The feeling similar to what we call us "Tip of the tongue phenomenon."

And again, this poem is a challenge. But your use of words is extrordinary:)

[Androglossia]

The feeling similar to what we call as**

[Androglossia]

Okay, it's a writer's block. I just read the comments below.. yeah I know, don't laugh at me =D

[kublakhan27]

Oh it's alright haha that's still a pretty accurate assessment of how I felt at the time :) Beyond that, it's a hard one to explain, which is probably not surprising lol

[Androglossia]

lol, i got you as I'm no stranger to it as well:)

[kublakhan27]

:) i had a feeling you'd know what I meant lol

[...]

If this is what you call writers block, I'm jealous :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha the problem is that I didn't write a word for a month before it...I just hope it doesn't take me another month to write the next one :)

[Brandon Mathis]

it is really good i like it don't know why you said maybe it has some solid poetry in it it was a great poem

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah I seem to have been wrong on that assumption as it's turned out to be one of my best-reviewed things in a while :P

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

This is great,I love the feel and beat style imagery, don't be so hard on yourself this is a great poem, Futuristic Beat love it.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks, the response I've gotten for it has made me feel considerably better...it was totally unexpected lol

[Talismanic]

hugs from me - i know how you feel. i feel like i've been in writer's block for years, exhausting words. I've gotta say this poem is so painstakingly beautiful... the weight of the world is in each line... the fragmentation... and tied up with Shakespeare... 'full fathom five...' Your poem, my selfish opinion I know, but I hope you can leave every word the way it is:)

[kublakhan27]

You know, I thought this was nothing more than rusty drivel when I finished it given the circumstances...but I'm amazed at how well-received it's been. Isn't that always the way it is though? Artists never seem to like their most popular stuff :P Needless to say, I'm glad you like it, and if something like this can happen for me, I'm quite confident it can happen for you :) *hugs*