REMEDIAL SUN

08 28 12

"I have been studying how I may compare
This prison where I live unto the world;
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it.  Yet I'll hammer it out."
             -Shakespeare, Richard II, Act V.I

The world I fathom rhetorically orbits
around the whirr of a dust-peppered
triad of turbine limbs
inbreeding infinitely as electricity's
treaty permits
into a smorgasbord whirl of
processed plastic white

A remedial sun I compose
to counter outside's oven bulb
in the world I do not fathom

Heat's sniper of humidity
is not lost on me
with no canonized sense
even to establish it with

And even my own remedial sun
restricts a reality-knighting touch
with its ozone cage pried open
in unseen haste - a victim
of college's fugitive waltz
encased in the jazz fusion dance hall
of the world I cannot fathom

Is there a dual left-footed
interpretive dance of a carbon dimension
outside of reality's steaming kitchen
to fathom me?

Author's Note

I can't remember the last time I've been so depressed upon posting one of my works. This poem is the equivalent of throwing my hands in the air, then burying my head in them. I wrote this literally just minutes ago, and it took about an hour. I'm struggling...this is the first thing I've written in a month or so. Maybe there is some solid poetry in here, but it doesn't feel like it. Anyways, enough of the sob story. Here's my newest poem...I imagine I'll go back to it sometime.

Reviews

[The Random Writings Of ..]

Throwing your hands up in the air and burying your head in them??? My friend, your work here is a spiral of words that produces pain and you stated a world you cannot fathom. It is a place of darkness in which you will overcome. You may see this as a piece that is not solid, but I disagree. It is authoritative, strong, and the analogy's used to describe the state of mind are unwavering. Your quote at the beginning sets up the mood for the piece perfectly. Well written

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much Kate...that really does make me feel better and more confident than I did before I posted it *hugs*

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Umm... you live in chaos, it's hot and humid outside, your ion-generator-juke-box is busted, you wonder if there's anyone out there with two left feet (too) that want's to go out for dancing, drinks, and steamy way-out-there conversation?

C'mon, admit it... I nailed it, didn't I? :)

[kublakhan27]

Not 100%, but you're pretty close lol :P Humidity and creativity do not mix, I'll say that (especially in the midst of the worst writer's block in recent memory)...not in my head they don't anyway lol

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Heh! :) (looking in crystal ball) ... the block is coming to an end.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

...stop sign, then left-turn.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I hope your crystal ball is right :)

[Priscilla Sayers]

I can fathom you my dear gifted friend. Had to read it again, appreciating it further:)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much...that does cheer me up :)

[Priscilla Sayers]

Keep smiling beautiful soul!
For you can always write until the stress is gone. Take a blank screen, write the first word that comes in you head, and run with it. Led your thoughts guide you, do not guide your thoughts except for that one word:) love to you, sending you light to brighten your moments:)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you with all of my heart :)

[Priscilla Sayers]

Your descriptions are clever my friend! I love your minds twists. It is remarkable!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Good work, I think. Write even if you think it sucks.

It's good, truly.

[kublakhan27]

I'm glad you like it...that does me feel a bit better.