BURNING OF THE MIDNIGHT SONNET

In memory of Clare Lerman.

My sense of fellowship periphery
is artificial as a scene of plot
to spread a porno's options.  Some movie
to pass for nothing but a rope to knot
my wishful thinking into realist
aloneness.  How I wish my online friends
were here to nullify to quiet gist
of television soiled with sad ends.
My God, what would I do without reviews
of adulation from your eyes and hands;
an alchemy of heart to tie the bruise
of isolation up in golden strands?

Alas, the midnight lamp may still construe
a dream's reprieve from days of missing you.

Author's Note

Captcha: plangent

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

LOL Well, here is your first review...may your evening be filled with love and light my friend. I quite liked this, because it was honest and didn't take itself too seriously. What would we all do without our "readers"; those people who find what we do beautiful, and thus in turn find us beautiful as well? It is a question...I'm not sure if there is an answer.

[kublakhan27]

Haha and I thank you for being the first to visit and read it :) In the spirit of a Shakespearean sonnet, the first eight lines present one sceanrio and can or cannot be light-hearted, but the next four offer an upturn or downturn in mood, and in this case, it was the latter...the last two sum up the overall mindset of the reader, and by the time I got to those last two lines, I was quite sad...but just like the poem said, your well wishes make it all worthwhile, though I'm constantly pondering the question you've presented, and likewise have no answer...thank you Sarah for your in-depth observations, and again, for your kind words :)

[Tea]

That's so cool. I loved this poem.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Yuki :)

[Tea]

Your welcome.

[emmajoy]

' .. an alchemy of heart to tie the bruise ~ of isolation up in golden strands? '

There are sonnets and there are sonnets, and, dear sir, you know which I mean! Smooth, gentle flow, grasping the sadness of the theme, stroking emotions very gently yet finishing with a fine flexing of mind and pen combined.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Emma :) It wasn't done overnight, trust me haha

[Leslie Philibert]

and a fine portion of irony here, that somehow underlines the literary value of this; clever and thoughtful.
a good piece of writing..

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks Leslie^^

[Kenneth The Poet]

I like this piece. The rhyme doesn't end the thought and I don't see that too often. This is why I don't write sonnets, I like my thoughts to end with the rhyme. That's my quirk, it works well with this piece. The language is florid, correct, an extension of the English masters from before. Like your other works, this is a spicy snark to it that is your signature. I am fond of the irony too, moving picture used as a motif inside written word. Nice work overall.

[kublakhan27]

When it comes to rhyming, it undoubtedly feels more natural to reader and writer alike to put a period on a sentiment with the actual rhyme...most of my rhyming pieces do follow that formula but in light of this piece being a traditional form, I wanted to inject some kind of modern quirk into it, and I thought I could do that by overlapping the lines and rhymes. It was not easy, and took several days to complete, but the positive feedback it has gotten has made it all worthwhile...thank you for the kind words my friend.

[Pete Langley]

Tis true and wise you hold us dear, Sir Steve
and while we errant scribes know not your face
we live in hope that you may still believe
that we consider your poetic grace
a bardic bastion for all bibliophiles
to lend protection to our rhymed extremes
and hold the banner high for all our styles
no matter how erotic our thought streams
nor where we live to wield our weary pens
or how we hide our metaphoric fears
but to us each you give due diligence
without a jot of thought to hide your tears

You show us all how bright our star can shine
in every soulful sonnet-silken line.

[kublakhan27]

My friend, you have brought me close to tears with these words...I will save a copy of this piece and never forget it...you have no idea how much this means to me...thank you Pete, from the bottom of my heart...I know I'm being mushy but I've never had a response like this before :)

[Pete Langley]

My absolute pleasure, my mate......your piece deserved my very best response...I ain`t badly pleased at my attempt either!

[kublakhan27]

As you should be, it's brilliant!

[Caradoc]

Well...I would say this perfectly sums up every writing site I have ever been to. We write and the reviews are a fuel of sorts. If we get enough of them, from the right people, it can start a chain reaction that will net the piece more reads and possibly even more reviews. Of course that isn't always the case. And though I'm guessing some, perhaps many, would deny it, we writers feel our sense of self-worth heighten because of it, if ever so slightly.

Intriguing piece.

-Caradoc

[kublakhan27]

I can honestly admit that my sense of self-worth would be next to nothing if not for the support I get here...self-esteem is my worst enemy but the friends I have here keep me propped up to say the least...thank you for reviewing and understanding.

[Caradoc]

Of course.

[Augustus]

Well, well, well! What have we here? :)
You've put a serious modern twist on the Shakespearean sonnet. I am well-acquainted with the form, having written a few myself, but never have I dared use "online friends" in any of them. :) New wine in an old bottle, if ever such a thing existed! Amazing how you have so rigidly adhered to form, and yet filled such familiar everyday objects and events into your lines. I liked the use of enjambments as well as the rhymes, which sound very natural.
Coming to the content, the importance of readers truly cannot be understated. However much we might claim that poetry is a personal art, we thrive on appreciation. That is the reason why all of us are here on WC. Words of encouragement inspire us to improve, to excel. I also agree with lines 11-12, which also happen to be my favourite ones here
"an alchemy of heart to tie the bruise
of isolation up in golden strands?"
I have experienced this often. Coming to WC takes me to an entirely different world and I lose track of time. I forget all the travails of that mundane world we all go back to.
The closing couplet takes a rather sudden twist towards the negative, especially considering the relatively hopeful lines preceding it. I would probably have ended it on a somewhat brighter note. But it is an excellent couplet nonetheless, and delivers the punch that is expected of the last couplet in a Shakespearean sonnet.
Wonderful job, Steve! :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much for your praise my friend...this is my second attempt at the sonnet and I said to myself that if I was gonna commit to writing one of these, it was gonna be done right haha That's why I stayed as faithful to the pure form as I could...having said that, it didn't start as a sonnet but once I'd written a few lines, I realized that it could work in this form, and be unique at the same time since the references are essentially modern...

I've said it countless times, but I don't know how much writing I'd do or if I'd be writing at all if it weren't for the friends I have on this site...the negative twist at the end has more to do with my lonesome mood at the time more than anything haha

Thank you for all the kind words, I was hoping to hear from someone who was firmly familiar with the form to get an idea of how I pulled it off :)

[MOON]

Said perfectly , indeed what would we do without reviews , it keeps us writing love your turn of phrase.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Moon, I knew you'd understand :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

I didn't have to search far... in this age all knowledge is as near as memory's key. This quote, stolen from modern scribes (and with great gusto) lays better claim to a suitable response and review than any that I might fashion from my own dim wit.

"There are conflicting accounts of Diogenes' death. He is alleged variously to have held his breath; to have become ill from eating raw octopus;[30] or to have suffered an infected dog bite.[31] When asked how he wished to be buried, he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall so wild animals could feast on his body. When asked if he minded this, he said, "Not at all, as long as you provide me with a stick to chase the creatures away!" When asked how he could use the stick since he would lack awareness, he replied "If I lack awareness, then why should I care what happens to me when I am dead?""

[kublakhan27]

Interesting story, almost like a parable...I had not heard that one before, thanks for pointing it out to me...trust me, your wit is anything but dim^^

[Lauren N. Rodriguez]

Your rhyming couplet is perfect; ties the piece together effortlessly and leaves the reader satisfied. And the last four lines of your stanza were instantly my favorite. You paint a picture very clearly, I can feel the tearing of emotions.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Lauren, you're spot-on with the feelings I was hoping to get across.