BETRAYAL ON THE ROCKS

09 10 13

This orgasm

begging to get out

of my system

will have to wait

till the final mouthful

of salvation

is eliminated from

the dream of

the final glass

that forebodes

emptiness

What comes first?

An imagination

drowned in loneliness

or a drunken

sleep of resignation

coated in the salivation

of a drool

limp and damp

clamming up a cheek

immune to comfort

sleeping off

the slavery of realism?

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

HOLY, THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. Seriously, this was just so....idk I feel like it just grabbed ahold of me and would not let go. I read this four times over. The imagery I got from this was amazing, the emotions so provocative and astonishing. The whole meaning I got out of this was just...Complete awe right now. I read it and found two different perspectives in it, I love each one I had. The beginning really dragged me in haha "This orgasm" wow packed that punch! 5 stars, thumbs up, pat on the back, bravo my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Wow, you have left me humbled and speechless my friend. There are no words to express how tickled I am that you enjoyed it so much. Reading your review, I had a big smile on my face :) Thank you so much, your words mean more than you know :)

[quixotic_rose]

I'm glad my words at least give a positive impact. When I really enjoy a writing I try to let the writer know just how much by spazzing out in the most gracious of ways haha. ANYTIME

[kublakhan27]

Haha Well your spazzing has made my day ;)

[Kleio13]

Damn damn damn, . It's like that "im only happy when it rains" song by Garbage.
i lovehow you just speak it and nothing else in this poem. i love your Metafisica.
This is another treat piece

[kublakhan27]

Haha that's true, it probably would have been a good clip to add here...I actually wrote this poem in one sitting (which NEVER happens) and it came to me quicker than anything in recent memory, which probably accounts for the visceral feel of it...this is definitely me in the raw...Thank you my dear, glad you enjoyed it :)

[ms. barrie]

Very compelling emotional write, here Mr. K. -- you captured the feelings, emotions one has while
trying to escape the mundane dismal reality one deals with at times, very eloquently, with your
brilliant use of your knowledge (aye, i'm redundant!) of language. maybe i'm wrong? but i read this and i think of two contradicting emotions going on, happy in illusioning oneself due to the alcohol,
*escapism*
but only to then crash down at the end when one realizes that the drink has only helped them for a moment, enter reality again. anyhow...great rhythm and fluidity and well as concept, one
(myself included) can relate to. excellent write (as usual) -- thanks for sharing! :)

[kublakhan27]

:) You've done a very nice job of interpreting it my friend...I don't usually state meanings blatantly but it was an attempt to capture the letdown of a night of alcohol when you realize you're not even getting that buzz of escapism, which sends you back to the negative feelings that intensify with the letdown...I know how that feels, and I was indeed hoping that people could relate to this, even without the alcohol bit...I'm glad that you were able to tap into the mindset...thank you as always Miss Barrie, for reading and understanding :) x

[ms. barrie]

You're very welcome, my friend. It's always a pleasure to visit your writes again :) --
Yes alcohol is a depressant so the buzz crashes down soon enough, and you
As you stated... you feel more negative, down about things but Damn I do love
That taste of liquid candy in my mouth called Reisling lol. Take care, Mr. K. And
Pen on :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I've never tried Reisling before but it sounds yummy ;P Even though we know the buzz is a fleeting thing, it's better than nothing at times, much better at other times...take care of yourself as well and pen on my friend :)

[ms. barrie]

It's pretty much on the sweet side and I have a sweet tooth! And that is very true. Some people enjoy
Sweet wines, others dry. True, nothing like a glass of wine and an idea or book
Is just what the Dr. Ordered :) -- you as well, my friend, xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha you can say that again miss Barrie ;) I'll have to sample it sometime...all the best :) xo

[ms. barrie]

Pours you a glass, cheers! Xo :)

[ms. barrie]

Best to you'd too, Steve!

[kublakhan27]

Sounds good Miss Barrie :) xo

[ms. barrie]

Xo :)) ten characters

[KAOlmsted]

I can relate to this 99%...all but the orgasm bit...mine wait for no man! Least of all...the boozes xD Just kidding, Steve...I sincerely feel the emotion in this, and you know how I feel about your ink...you are a true poet, sir, and I enjoyed this, rather bittersweetly, quite a lot. Thanks for sharing it with us. xoxo

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha I'll go as long as it takes my dear, as stated in previous pieces ;) Really though, I'm glad you could relate to this...it was a bittersweet write, and a bittersweet read as I look back on it...I'm glad you could relate to it, albeit bittersweetly...thank you Kimmer :)

[KAOlmsted]

;-) My absolute pleasure...xoxo

[noone]

I feel that impact of the emotions here. I get a picture of someone drinking in order to self medicate and forget about their troubles rather than deal with them, something I can relate to. Good job.

[kublakhan27]

Alcohol is certainly a factor here...I think it's a case of turning to it for release, only to be let down by the absence of a buzz...glad you could relate to it, thank you Sammi.

[Plume de flamme]

The impotence of depression, robs from the body, mind and soul. Brave write,

[kublakhan27]

That sums it up pretty well...glad you enjoyed it, thank you Plum.

[Pryde Foltz]

So down you don't want to feel up again. A very emotional and deep write.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Pryde, it's an emotional write for sure so I'm glad you were able to tap into that.

[s y e]

Nobody likes being lonely, Steve -- It damn well sucks but your poem does not (imagine me saying that in a British Accent ) This was an amazing write, very well written.

[kublakhan27]

It's definitely not fun, and many if not all of us experience it at some point...with that in mind, I wanted to write it in a way that people could relate to, which is not one of my strengths as a writer haha Don't worry, I imagine everything you say with that accent ;P Thanks Noodlebop, glad you liked it :)

[s y e]

Bahaha, try Scottish then.... Or Irish. Preferably Scottish 'cause I am Scottish. LOL. And hey, you are a strong writer, start believing it Mister!

[kublakhan27]

LOL Well my surname originated in Scotland, so there's a bit of a parallel in our roots ;P Thanks again bud, it means a lot :)

[s y e]

Ooooo funky! I don't know it though. .....

[Luke L]

Lovely stuff man, I like how you really kept up a pace with this piece, it felt like forward moving action in the way it's written.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks man, I put a lot of stock into pace when I'm writing something...glad to know it came through here, and glad you enjoyed it :)

[Frieda P]

Loneliness is a natural human emotion and it affects many of us from time to time, but you wrap your abstruse pen around it like Salvador Dali would paint the emotion, genius in your own complexities Steve, already told how I felt about this one, but I'll say it again-very cool, you're brilliant....

[kublakhan27]

Wow, me and Dali...you certainly know how to humble me Mrs.R...seriously, my face is hot ;P It's a very personal piece as you know but I wanted people to relate to it as well and I'm not the easiest writer to relate to at times...thank you my dear friend, for everything.

[Angi]

Why is it that so many creative people suffer this way? There has to be something in the genes, Steve. When I am feeling depressed and lonely and resigned, sleep is a very real thing (escape) I feel it start at the top of my head and weigh me down until I am barely upright. I totally feel the drool, mister. Angi~

[kublakhan27]

Very little of the great art through the centuries has been produced in a good mood...it probably has something to do with genes but it may also be a collective unconscious...it's the other way around for me when it comes to sleep...I would kill for more sleep when I'm depressed but that's usually when I find it the hardest...but a lot of my writing gets done during those nights as well...guess we can't win my friend haha...thank you Angi :)