TWO POETS AND THE RAIN (Collab with Melobldnfr)

TWO POETS AND THE RAIN (Collab with Melobldnfr)

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

09 28 13

"

A game implies a winner,

Which in turn implies an end.

Yet the players in this pulsing

Game of heart monopoly

Remain relentless in their quest

To win in perpetuity.

Tonight we take back the rule book.

Two poets and the rain

Will compose a requiem for hurt

And part our lips to emulate

The firmament's torrent of

A life story's tears.

Your head in my lap,

I run my fingers through your hair.

I want to take every tear

To be your ink and page.

I rummage through your pain.

Let it not make me sway.

I hurt with you, but take it,

Disengage it, and honorably stay.

My shoulders are big enough

To play upon your stage.

Let the crickets sing

Something akin to our names,

And try to not let the doors slam

With our windows from their panes.

A night like tonight, I encourage

You to exorcise your eyes

So eroded from the salt of

Drama's stinging weight.

Lay your notebook next to mine.

Out we'll run into the holy rivulets

Of the heavens.

When you smile we'll retreat

To the humanity of home,

Struck by a inkling to test

Each others' senses.

A night like tonight, I reach out.

You, who's felt more in my words,

Hear my whispered shouts.

Take my cup, make it yours.

I'll be your downpour

But not your fall.


 

© 2013 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27
Don't forget to visit Mel, she's a very soulful writer who doesn't get as much attention as she should. We had a lot of fun with this, it took about a week to put together. She picked the artwork as well :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Beautiful, and a stunning collab!! I love it all, but particularly the last -"I'll be your downpour, but not your fall". I am not familiar enough with either of you to know which part is yours, and which belongs to Mel but the two of you mesh in a fashion that makes it difficult to determine where the dividing line is -and that to me is a successful collab!


Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

We did work very hard at weaving and mixing our lines so that even those who knew us would not be ab.. read more
Melobldnfr

7 Years Ago

Thank you Sheila.



Reviews

You gave me a vivid scene with fascinating details. Your wordcraft delighted me.
My favorite is "A game implies a winner, Which in turn implies an end." It's a great way to start this splendid poem.

This had me smiling! Clever write. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Glad you enjoyed it Blue, thanks so much :)
Such a beautiful merging you two!
Steve, you are a delightful writer, and I can see the chemistry between you and your co-writer....you both have fleshed out this piece magnificently. "Two poets and the rain"~Well composed, indeed!

Congrats!...Nicely Done!~xoxo~:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Haha We did do a lot of tinkering with it...actually it took us a week to get it to where we were bo.. read more
I wish I played well with others ;-) This collaboration was stunning. I will absolutely visit Mel if you can RR me your favorite, that would be most helpful (I'm doing my RR queue right now...and *ahem* you should know I skipped ahead to read you) ;-)

So glad I did.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

I'm not a natural collaborator myself, but we're friends and I had a whim that our voices might gel... read more
KAOlmsted

7 Years Ago

You and Baby R ;-) My pleasure, Steven xoxo
A lovely word dance you two have composed. Spell-bindining.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Pryde.
Like a fine tapetry, these words weave emotion and wonderful visions on my mind. Mel and Steve, you have come togehter to present us with a wonderful treat. I find myself glancing back up, revisiting many parts of thus fantastic collaboration. Bravo, to the both of you as your melted words have intertwined my smile.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thanks so much my friend, you've made me smile with your kind words...I'm sure Mel will smile as wel.. read more
Lots of soul in that, the very concept of two sad poets comforting each other in the rain.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Funny thing is we hardly talked about a concept even as were writing it, we just kind of let it writ.. read more
Keith

7 Years Ago

It worked well, amazing!
A fine collaboration. 97/100

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Glad you enjoyed it, thank you my friend.
A gorgeous blending of words. It is impossible to tell this was written by two poets, which is what really makes a great collab for me. I love the soft flow of your words and the images and emotions you have created are lovely. I hope to read more by you two!

:) Julie

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed it my friend...we really wanted to put something together that would make it tou.. read more
MsJewel

7 Years Ago

You are very welcome. I write with a partner on this site Trace - You may want to check out our coll.. read more
kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

I'll certainly have to check those out sometime, I'll try to make it soon :)
What an amazing collaboration you and Mel came up with, Mr.K.! Wonderful use
in the choice of words both you and Mel came up with. i love every line penned in this poem!
This is a very unique, poignant write. written with eloquent brilliance. Great job on both of your
Parts! Thanks for sharing :)
~ Barrie Joy

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed it my friend, we had a great time doing it and spent a lot of time tinkering wit.. read more
ms. barrie

7 Years Ago

You're very welcomed, Steve, both you and Mel's genius & hard work definitely
Shines through o.. read more
really good piece, my friend..
well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks so much :)

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1047 Views
24 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on September 29, 2013
Last Updated on September 29, 2013
Tags: game, winner, players, heart, poets, rain, life, tears, smile, whisper, shout

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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