A LOVE LETTER FROM A FAILED GENERATOR

11 19 13

I.

Inside a meltdown

of aggrieved metaphors

we met and made the best

of icy memories

You were the apex

of a sullen candle wick's

heated umbrella

passing for protection

from the typhoon

of toxicity corroding

the artificial lights

I resorted to in search

of happiness

II.

Sickened by the cynicism

I could never conquer

without aid

the shrill wheeze

in my lungs stabbed

the air of my resigned

ignition like an acid

rain-rusted fork

Prongs of erosion

incinerated the dimensions

of my Great Pretender mask

I was open to the prospect

of a meltdown

III.

A power outage smirked

on the verge of threatening

my need for Winter white

to blind the pile-up of humid

months eroding my incentive

for an age's elevation

Then you came

puncturing the black aura

I was all too ready to adopt

I am already obligated to

the grey threshold 

it would appear

yet the parasol of your

embrace stifled my

corrosion of closure like

the blinders of a race horse

Simply through your place 

in my obstructed vision's show

you have won me

until I realize I'm out of candles

and the metaphors incline me

to reach around until I clutch

your heated cage of 

nightvision

Author's Note

It took every ounce of my creative willpower to get this out. An abundance of things to say in recent weeks, but no words. Anyways I'll resist the urge to milk my self-pity any further.

Reviews

[Gleb Zavlanov]

I wholeheartedly agree with Pax. I too experience this: whenever I read your words, I'm in a completely different world and sense things that can't be perceived in reality. Your poetry is very deep, beautiful, and uniquely crafted with a fine mastery of language. Bravo, once again!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you could relate, thanks very much :)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

My pleasure.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Very good use of descriptive words. I don't think you indulge in self pity too much ... just pretend it is someone else!

[kublakhan27]

Haha A good piece of advice indeed. Glad you enjoyed it, thank you Astri :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is the soul speaking...a veritable stream of conciousness refined into a beautiful piece of poetry that truly exudes emotional depth and strong impact. Writing is so often a way of saying somethig without really saying it...speaking in metaphors, so to speak. You do that well, because I always see that there are little shadows lingering between your lines and peeking out from the margins. The white space says as much as the words. Well written...fully realized writing.

[kublakhan27]

You know me so well my friend. Writing this piece was a true exercise in catharsis...I can't remember the last time I had to strain so hard to get something written. I still don't think the mental exhaustion that followed has been fully replenished, even though it's been a few days now since i've written it. It feels as though I've been living in a shadow these days, and I've had to fight to keep the shadows tucked in between those lines as much as possible, though they continue to seep out. Through all of this, I'm just happy to know that you understand me and my way of communicating. Thank you so much.

[Corset]

Everything about this write resonates, illuminates thoughts. Such beautiful write Kublakhan!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend...your kind words mean the world :)

[Corset]

I am so glad to hear such a thing :)

[redflutterby]

I know this took a lot to write but it is amazing Steve. You use words in ways I could never imagine. There's darkness here...sarcasm and regret. Or maybe that's my state of mind reflected in your lines. :-)

[kublakhan27]

Oh no, it's not just you my friend, all of those things are very much in play here :P Thanks so much for the support Red, you know it means the world :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Everything for which we come to poetry is present here. A clear unburdening of emotion, outstanding metaphors that make the reader ponder in new avenues...
These lines stand out for me:

Prongs of erosion
incinerated the dimensions
of my great pretender mask

We are all pretenders of a sort, faking our way through the meltdowns and power outages, and hoping to hold on to that one person who sees through the facade, yet never gives us away...
You always make me think, K - and more importantly, you make me feel. You sir are an amazing poet.

[kublakhan27]

My friend, you have brought a smile to my face on a day that I did not think it possible. To know that I can accomplish these things with my words makes it all feel worthwhile. Thank you so much for reading, and for understanding...you have no idea how much it means :)

[Rita L. Sev]

I am so glad I could lift your spirits. You accomplish so much with your poems - a fact that should be a great source of pride! :)

[MsJewel]

A wonderful use of metaphors in this creative and well written poem. If your muse is hiding - one would never know it. Your have an amazing talent. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem!

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

You always humble me with your kind words my friend...thank you Julie :)

[s y e]

Wow Steveroo - if this is something you can write without a Muse all people need to do is read a bit further down on your poetry and BAM it will slap them in the face 'cause they won't be able to tell the difference! They'll be saying 'Yo, what in the heck is this dude tawkin' 'bout?'

A huge bunch of images that actually stay with me, this is absolutely amazing! I loved it, one of your best Steveroo - stay strong dude, we're all here for you!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much bud...I'm not gonna lie, I was depressed beyond expression when I wrote this...there are just too many emotions clamouring for my attention these days, I'm sure there are times when you know how that feels. Naturally I'm happy that you enjoyed this piece given how intensely personal it is. I don't know what I'd do without you guys and girls...thanks for being there for me...it means more than you know :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes love can help us hold it together, even if it is just barely, and we remain on that threshold of ruin...and the line Anne picked out made me feel that she didn't bring him all the way back from the edge, just held away from it...close.

love can have that power.

strong write.

jacob

[kublakhan27]

I'm at a point where I fear I've gone blind if I don't see that threshold of ruin on the horizon. Thank you as always for the support Jacob.

[icelandicblue]

The intensity and your use of metaphor shaded with light and dark creates a contrast of such abject loneliness and the tiny prick of hope. I loved so many of these lines but I found that this particular one was particularly jarring:

I am already obligated to
the grey threshold
it would -- appear
yet the parasol of your
embrace stifled my
corrosion of closure like
the blinders of a race horse

What a perfectly unique use of the word parasol. Dark and effective poem my friend.

[kublakhan27]

Were I not emotionally drained before writing this, I certainly was upon its completion, and I am yet to replenish. I'm so glad that this one resonated so deeply with you being such a personal piece. Thank you as always my friend.

[Angel]

The image that stays with me is the rain rusted fork...

[kublakhan27]

I like that part as well; it's definitely one of the cornerstone images. Thank you Angel.