FOR KYLA, 1986 - 1993

Full story below. 11 22 13

Today I remember the poet

who wrote a bridge across

the human life span

not by reminding us

of the winged vehicles 

that commute us from

body to soul

but of how a birth marked

the commemoration

of the construction of those

very wings

Today I remember

an ancient belief that

a mother's delivery

was a contract with 

a higher power

a child's stepping out from

the residence of heaven

for a mission defined

in a visit to we whose infant

remembrances are annulled

by the cruelty of time

spent on adulthood

Today I remember why angels

are thought to be born in sync

with our children to make

transcendent twins of us all

I remember the theory

I've harboured believing

my cousin was meant to maintain

her wings on the basis of a

different kind of mission

Today I remember

the subsequent line-up of brethren

bidding us farewell sooner than hoped

in such swift order that mourning

began to feel like a line

of dominoes

I believe she reminds me today

of how the truest dominoes

never lie flat in their fall

but are propped up by those

who rally around their fate

like dream-stuffed pillows

I believe she was granted

unseen wings for her life

to facilitate a visit just long enough

to ensure us of one who awaits

us when the line quivers

and encloses us with revived

fears of lost family

She was born a beacon of

hope in a storm of despair

An angel allowed to retain 

her human vessel for a family 

huddled in the overworked

threads of mortality

Author's Note

My cousin was born on November 22 1986 and was dignosed with neuroblastoma. After a long fight she passed away December 14 1993 at the age of 7.

I seldom get too spiritual in my writing, but the circumstances of the day demanded I bear it for all to see. The poem itself is a rush job, and maybe I'll go back to it later to make it more eloquent, but in light of those circumstances, it naturally had to be done today. I was also writing this with my Dad in mind, who passed away last year and always had a soft spot for her. He was one in a line of several relatives we have lost due to various illnesses in the last two-three years in rapid succession. In a nutshell, it feels like there has been a funeral every month for the last two years. But this is not a declaration of pure sadness...it is more about remembering the positives, so no need to worry...I'm okay :)

"The poet" I refer to is Coleridge, who believed that babies arrived via heaven through their birth. To this day, the lion's share of angel-related testimonials come from young children. Whether or not one puts any stock in that is up to the individual, but kids are a heck of a lot more perceptive now than they've been in past generations, and you know what they say about strength in numbers...

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I did my senior thesis on Coleridge...one of my favorite poets--there was so much emotion hidden between his lines. This was emotional, my friend, and I felt it quite deeply in the reading. I had to read three times before I was satisfied that I had taken everything in. I imagine tears on the page with this one...tears and vulnerability that show your brevity. Much respect for you.

[kublakhan27]

I do recall you mentioning your thesis way back when we first started talking regularly. The older I get, the more convinced I become that he is my favourite poet, though there are a handful or so whose work I hold close to my heart. I never did do a thesis, and I regret it deeply to this day. I had profs who suggested I do one, but I just didn't have enough confidence at the time. In fact, this is the only place I find confidence and I don't know how I managed to even write so long as I did before I arrived here. But this is another story. I guess I mention it here just to demonstrate how grateful I am for your support. There were no shortage of tears in the process of writing this piece, and I'm glad that I was able to convey the litany of emotions I was feeling at the time. You know that I respect you greatly as well my friend, thank you.

[rhythm&blues]

Heartfelt and beautifully written, you write loss with such elegance.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much r&b, your kind words mean more than you know.

[Troy Henson]

A truly sentimental and heartfelt tribute to your cousin. She now flies and soars above you where ever you may be. Look up and smile.

Regards
Troy

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Troy, those words do mean a lot. With the passing of time, it does become easier to focus on the best memories, and have faith that she is in a better place. So glad that this piece resonated with you. Sending my regards as well.

[MOON]

Poignant yet beautiful, condolences on your loss. Life is a gift each moment precious. She is indeed an Angel now.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Moon, so much...I have no doubt that she is an angel in some way. Your kind words mean the world to me.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"She was born a beacon of

hope in a storm of despair

An angel allowed to retain

her human vessel for a family

huddled in the overworked

threads of mortality"~ Wow! I am stunned... this is an amazing tribute to a little Angel....
I'm so sorry for your loss, my dear...
It hurts to read, yet your art holds an unforgettable vigil for her.

A poignant write...truly sentimental~xoxo~

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Robbie. Needless to say it was a painful write that was not without its tears, but the support I've received from friends here has been a healer, and has brought a smile to my face. It will always be a sad one, but a smile of any kind is better than none at all. Thank you my sweet friend...xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It takes time to heal, and the scars left are a reminder everyday... stay strong, sweetie.~xoxo~
read moreIt takes time to heal, and the scars left are a reminder everyday... stay strong, sweetie.~xoxo~

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Even though this is sad it is a beautiful beautiful poem
Bless her little heart but as you say she has wings this is so Heart felt so touching
And I agree with Coleridge and I agree with you lovely sentiments

Peace

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend, it means the world to know that I was able to touch someone with these words. Peace be with you as well. xo

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

You're very welcome and yes your words do Touch make people feel
That is A good feeling isn't it
For me it is to know something I wrote touched some one and made them feel
Just as this does
Peace and love and respect

[kublakhan27]

I wish you all those things as well Chloe...thank you again for understanding.

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you and you are very very welcome

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you you and you are very very welcome
Peace

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you and you are very very welcome

[TL Boehm]

Even as a writer there are words so poignant on this page - my own simply fail in my stumbling attempt to convey the raw power this write has over that part of me that is not so much flesh but spirit. I am pragmatic by default but there is a "reset" in this piece. What you said about children's experiences with angels - I can't refute that. And the lift this poem carries - is undeniable

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much TL, your kind words truly mean a lot :) Never consider any piece of writing you do to be a failure, even the most idol scribblings. I've been writing for sixteen years, and a piece as well-received as this one has been, is still the exception and not the rule. Have faith in your voice.

[kublakhan27]

This was actually true, so heartbreaking, I had read a few times to let it sink dear brother. Deep to me, you are a very thoughtful and sensitive person, a person that can weighs death and life so nice to each other, and dropping it on paper ... (if you know what I mean there).

You dig deep through your feelings, and the lines:
 
"Today I remember
Subsequent the lineup or brethren
bidding us farewell sooner than hoped
Such swift in order That mourning
began to feel like a line
or dominoes "

Hit me the most, because you show us that one after the other just "can" die, and all that is relatively small in our lives. I am touched by the fact of death, you know why, and you spelled it like no other, the background information I have stored in my head, and admire your talent for writing so much in a stellar write... deeply felt by me... (so felt) my words lack... I hope they are together now hun!

- Elisa xoxo

[kublakhan27]

I feel like there's so much for me to say here, but I'm struggling to find words. I can only smile in sympathy to all you have said, and marvel over your ability to understand me and always know where I'm coming from. I just know that you understand me in the toughest times. I won't get into it too deeply on the live feed, but I know we've both been through those tough times, and let's face it, they're not over yet (you'll see another elegaic poem from me soon). But we die to make life meaningful...I'm comfortable with its inevitability, and again I don't want to get too deep about it here, but I have valid reasons for believing unequivocally that they are together.

Again, thank you dear sis for understanding on the deepest level. I wish there were more words to articulate just how thankful I am, but you know :) xoxo

I hear you brother, even in silence... thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. Your words are touching, and in my heart bro... take much care, and wishing you a happy weekend, be back soon! xxx

[Dye]

This is so touching and beautifully sad. It doesn't feel rushed in my opinion at all. Such an interesting view. The story of your cousin, was heartbreaking. I can't even imagine that kind of loss, I have four children. I lost my brother when he was 11. I am going to share this poem with my mother, I think she would enjoy it very much.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Dye, your kind words mean a lot to me...I am happy and sad that you could relate to this on that level. I'd be honoured if you shared it.

[Dye]

With pleasure, I truly enjoyed it and I believe that my mother will as well.

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, it does seem that families suffer many losses in rapid succession. I, too, have experienced that. When such a young life is snuffed out, many question their faith, but I feel you found a way to make it a positive thing. You think she was an angel and now is doing better work in another realm. What a lovely thought. Who's to say there are no angels walking on this earth? I believe there is a spirit world some are not willing to see. The heartfelt emotions in this poem are honest and I don't think this needs a rewrite at all. Lydi**

[kublakhan27]

You understand me very well my friend. The losses I speak of in this piece allude to my late Dad's side of the family, which has been plagued with bad luck and untimely deaths in the last handful of years. It has happened on my mother's side as well, but it involved my grandparents and we were aware of the fates that awaited them, unlike my relations on Dad's side. When my mother's dad died, there was an omnipresent belief that my grandmother would follow not long after, and that was indeed the case. But I refuse to turn my faith into a negative factor. I do believe in angels, and I do believe that everything happens for a reason. What I was hoping to say in this poem is that my little cousin, though her life was short, had a purpose...she was taken back to where she came from to greet the line of relatives that we lost so unexpectedly. The trick is that one must be open to such possibilities. If you're open to them, I believe that you will encounter signs of hope and optimism even in the worst of times. Again, I thank you Lydi, for reading and for understanding :)

[Lydia Shutter]

My pleasure, Steve. Lydi**