LAMENT FOR MISGUIDED AMBITION

LAMENT FOR MISGUIDED AMBITION

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

02 21 14...notes below

"
What happened to the happiness
I wore like an Olympic medal
when a low profile was a source of pride?
What happened to the modesty and gratitude
benignly embraced by those who refused
to have me lay in such shallow
sheets of retrospection?
What happened to my word choice
little linguistic discoveries
that painted token pouts with a thick
coat of consolation like rust paint?
When did my life-long goal of
one published piece extinguish
in the fizzle of misguided ambition?

When did I decide I would rather
be invisible than irrelevant?

© 2014 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27


I know I'm not irrelevant...I have met some dear friends on this site who are unceasing in their support and patience with me when my erratic moods flare up. This is an apology of sorts to them, as I don't feel I have properly acknowledged that support much of the time.

I must say this though...I may not be irrelevant, but I sure as hell feel invisible around here sometimes...

This is being posted under as thick a cloak of subtlety as possible. There will be no RRs...I'd say I hope that nobody sees it, but obviously that's not the case. But this is not a Steve Fortune poem in my mind...I'm not sure what it is, but it's something.

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Featured Review

Life hands us all sorts of "stuff" and unfortunately, sometimes we retreat into invisibility rather than face another defeat. It is easier to be ignored than to be turned down....sometimes. I don't think you are invisible at all. The problem on a site like this is there are too many people to keep up with. I try to read as many poems and stories as I can, but time does not allow me to read them all. You, my friend, are far from invisible. I feel your presence at the cafe...and I hope that is a constant thing. Good write. Very expressive. Lydi**

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thank you Lydi, I've always considered you one of those dear friends...the problem is that I dwell o.. read more
Lydia Shutter

7 Years Ago

The poems have no expiration date....they will patiently wait! :)



Reviews

I think Jack London said he would rather be ash than dust. I would never think you are irrelevant and the site ebbs and flows. I've been gone for weeks and my true friends have found me, just like they find you. We accept each other for who we are flawed, scarred and epically human. Hang in there.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thanks very much my friend, your support means the world. I do feel a bit better after getting that.. read more
Steve, invisible is a state of mind that I believe grips us all at one time or the other...we feel that no matter what we do nothing matters...but that my friend passes...it is when we are unable to see ourselves because we are afraid of what we will see that the trouble begins. I am in that place. Take heed my friend...be you regardless of who sees you because when you become someone other than who you are...my friend you are truly invisible.

You may not view this as a Steve Fortune poem but the rest of us who look forward to seeing you do.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thanks so much Jack, you've always had my back my friend. I sometimes wonder if anyone is truly hap.. read more
Life is very erratic, and ambition, and fame is as John Keats once said, "a wayward girl." Give it time and patience and you're certain to achieve an immortal status among the great! I'm just glad you're a friend on this site. Your works are truly amazing, and I particularly enjoyed this one. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thanks so much Gleb, your kind words mean the world :)
I appreciate your style of writing, which, by the way is jaw dropping quite a few times, at least for me, so I do not think you are invisible or irrelevant.

Cant say I and other writers like us have not felt the feelings expressed in this write at some point or the other in time. But I reason that attention here is claimed more by more prolific writers because they simply have more time and energy to devote to this website. But that does not make others here any less talented. We are just creatures of our own set of circumstances. I would not think of lack of attention on WC as a marker of my abilities as a writer. It is up there with those of the more popular ones for any truly discerning reader to judge for themselves.

Attention of true friends matters and I see you have plenty of that. Happiness is again very subjective and depends on where we look for it.

Your writing has your special stamp and it is Inimitable. This poem in itself bears ample evidence of that.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DIVYA

7 Years Ago

I understand and wish to add that most writers cannot write as frequently too. I only write when I a.. read more
kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement Divya, it means a lot to know there's someone, a.. read more
DIVYA

7 Years Ago

You too Steve. Have a great one :)))
you will never be irrelevant my friend...and never invisible as long as your inked shadow hovers upon the pages.

i like this whole idea of modesty battling with pride...the publication vs the just creating..

what do we really wish for as poets...just to write, just to be remembered, do we want to have fame, and yet stay humble...
it's a conundrum.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

It certainly is a conundrum...I'm forever haunted by the question of how good a writer I'd be if I w.. read more
jacob erin-cilberto

7 Years Ago

poets thrive in pain, steve...

if i hadn't had all the chaos in my life....broken marri.. read more
kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

You can say that again my friend...it's the proverbial nature of the beast.
I don't know what to say about this really. It's weird, how we perceive ourselves, and others for that matter. First let me say, a well written, introspective piece, with nary a grammatical misplaced comma or apostrophe. I love to write. Some of my best pieces are not viewed at all. I write maniacally, putting down 5-8 pieces per day, straight into the site. Because of this, I often feel like no one pays attention, because I simply write too much. Or maybe they think I am braggy or arrogant because of my incessant obsession with correction. As to publishing, it is so subjective and I really think self-publish is the way to go, direct to KINDLE, ebook, etc., and available on Amazon

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

I always thought of it the opposite way...I wondered if I'm not active enough...maybe that prevents .. read more
Lyn Anderson

7 Years Ago

Not a problem. And here I am wishing I could sit and draft and re-draft and craft some masterpiece. .. read more
Omg...do I need to get my whip out?? Steve....you sweet silly man..Sigh... I just want to hug you!! xo

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

I had a feeling you would respond that way Red haha ;P What can I say, you are one of the dear frien.. read more
Heavy sigh here Steve, tears at my heart to read this piece, it hardly sounds like one of yours to be honest. You are neither invisible or irrelevant, although I know you sometimes feel that way, you're a huge talent, at times it goes unnoticed, for reasons, I have no idea why. You know how I feel about your genius, so I'll just state that it's their loss, they are surely missing out by not reading your poignant words my dear friend. xo

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

My sweet friend, I couldn't respond to this right away, I had tears in my eyes. I've always said th.. read more
I think you did a great job expressing your emotions and putting words to the way many feel at one time or another. Great word choices too. I enjoyed it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed and understood Lisbeth, thank you.
Life hands us all sorts of "stuff" and unfortunately, sometimes we retreat into invisibility rather than face another defeat. It is easier to be ignored than to be turned down....sometimes. I don't think you are invisible at all. The problem on a site like this is there are too many people to keep up with. I try to read as many poems and stories as I can, but time does not allow me to read them all. You, my friend, are far from invisible. I feel your presence at the cafe...and I hope that is a constant thing. Good write. Very expressive. Lydi**

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

Thank you Lydi, I've always considered you one of those dear friends...the problem is that I dwell o.. read more
Lydia Shutter

7 Years Ago

The poems have no expiration date....they will patiently wait! :)

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10 Reviews
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Added on February 21, 2014
Last Updated on February 21, 2014
Tags: depression, resentment, friends, forgiveness, support, resignation

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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