PASS THE SYRUP

03 29 14

Olive branches smother and dismember
in the mud giggling in time
with the squish emanating from
my alternating huff and puff
footprints

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain
My old defence, sheepish stolidity,
got tweaked in a twist-up
tight as a candy cane
with a modest gasp
of underground success

That shadowy hush of acknowledgement
ballooned in my ear like a blow fish
amplifying the environmental inertia
that never made me happier
nor this sad

I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Acknowledgement's shadowy hush
tore a blister trail down my back
The ointment of Winter will soothe and
release me before billing me
with a scar and littering in the recycle bin
of who I want to be

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

Author's Note

Reviews

[redflutterby]

Ahhh...Steve. I know where this one comes from and its sadness makes me sigh. I would hug you but youre too far away. Sweetie you dont want to be feared...theres no good in that. You just want to feel accepted and acknowledged. You dont need to look much farther then right here for that. You are an amazing poet and a wonderful friend. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

You have brought a smile to my face and my heart my dear friend...I don't think hearts smile but you know what I mean ;) I feel much better now than I did when I wrote this and you have a huge part in that. It's true that I don't want to be feared, but that's how it feels when I struggle for positive attention...I'll just take any kind that I can get haha Thank you Red, for all the support you've given me, especially recently...I may not have been here today if not for it :)

[Saddam]

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared.

Surprisingly written. Great performance as a poetry writer. Thank you so much Frida to giving me such a great piece. I like it very much.

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, thanks very much, and I thank Frieda for passing it along as well :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

"Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared" This is a truly awesome poem .These lines touched me deeply.

[kublakhan27]

So glad to hear that this one resonated so deeply, it's an intensely personal piece so I wasn't sure if anyone else would relate, so your kind words really do mean a lot. Thank you Vidya :)

[Ahena MK]

wonderfully written ......

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Ahena :)

[A. Amos]

Lot of work going on in this piece and enjoyed the end with great message, great write my friend

[kublakhan27]

A million thanks my friend, so glad you enjoyed it :)

[A. Amos]

Pleasure my friend

[paddy d daly]

really like this, got a sense of competitiveness but also a sense of fragility, love the last stanza, today wanting to be accepted and tonight the arrival of reinforced snowflakes, overall a great sense of feeling,.

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it Paddy :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are incredible, Steve....the journey you take us on....do i want to be loved, accepted? or feared?

my words are my pet art...and i can always come home to them...but outside of my art, how do people see me?
the acceptance and/or rejection we get from others...has too much effect on us...happy, sad whatever.
but the muse is part of us, accepts us always...and our words accept and fear us in a way..we are the masters of them....and yet how is that they rule us.

and at times, make us schizophrenic---

another fascinating write from you...i am just always blown away at how you play with words and master them.

[kublakhan27]

I can't put into words how much your support means my friend...thank you, not just for reading, but for truly taking the journey with me.

[Frieda P]

You had me at 'giggling mud'....then the spinning allusions of the mind in bitter cold tugged at my heartstrings.

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain

I love 'schizophrenic rain', wish I'd have thought of that one, okay, did you write this before or after hockey, seems as though there were a few sticks broken here ;-) Sigh, 'fear'...now that one flipped me over, you know why....so many great lines here, those 'reinforced snowflakes' did me in....as always a superior read sweet Benji. xo

[kublakhan27]

Mrs.R, my sweet friend, you have certainly tugged on my heartstrings here, not just with your review, but your promotion of this piece. To get this kind of attention for one poem has me close to tears, that's how meaningful it is to me. Most of it came before hockey when I thought they forgot to pick me up again...it was really not my day up to that point ;P But how could I not feel better about myself with what you have done for me here? Being able to cheer me up is somewhat of an art in itself, and you are the most wonderful artist I know...thank you Frieda :) xo

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Such a stunning poem, beautifully written. ^_^

Kaze~

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Kaze :)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-)