WELCOME TO THE FURNACE

07 17 14

Yellow flecks of flaming dust
sew their last rites into
popcorn crackles searing
thirsty air's failed distance

The arrival of the true you
frames a consolation
of swan song scenery
for the expendable
caravan of cinders
fated for erasure
in a sudden cough
like a poor man's firework

Choirs of finches followed
and scored your promenade
from the solar facsimile of fire
to the proximity of genuine
incineration

They fall into flame-induced pitch
stubborn to betray their purpose
like the Titanic's entertainment

The remnants of the fictional you
singe and dissipate in the heat
with your blanket definition
of the most docile creatures

They were all animals to you
beneath the sun's poesy-polished lens

But the basement assured
a shedding in the ashen hub
of elemental witnesses

Animal equality was stripped down
to a shortlist of horned
territorial crusaders

Physicality usurped
the guidelines of reason

Real animals break a sweat
like real men wear black

Now you take a stand
in the fire's seething court of coal
till the salt veil trickles
down your face and makes
a bed of pearls on your lips

You can taste epiphany
as you undo the cage
armed with a steel whip
to pet the bitter ghost
of nature ravaged

Shuffling the coals until
you draw a mirror in the melting chaos
a theory of precipitation whispers
I can treat you better

But eager for the testing
of your belief that
phoenixes are pets of the meek
you commence in the open simmer
of an angel's martyrdom
like a libidinous Joan Of Arc

Author's Note

Reviews

[Kleio13]

"Real animals break a sweat
like real men wear black" THESE WORDS ARE GENIOUS!!! This poem cut straight to the heart. and I`m listening to Snake River Conspiracy`s love song. It`s like your`e saying we are mechanical animals always fighting the good fight for survival, for meekness, for an eternity that we are looking for that not many people believe in. It`s almost as if humanity should learn this lesson. That eternity is with us and we should value change for the greater good instead of being angry all of the time. This poem is amazing. Who was in your head when lyou wrote this ?

[kublakhan27]

Haha They might be the most popular lines I've ever offered to the site, I think everybody has quoted them in their comments ;) It's hard for me to say what I was thinking when I wrote this, there were so many things swirling around in my head, but it's been a true joy to see that everyone has had their own interpretations of it, including ones I never thought of...I did write it in the hope of piling on as many layers as possible, but very rarely do all of those layers (and more) get noticed...this poem has become dear to me for that reason...I haven't mentioned this explicitly to anyone else, but I think I had the duality of the human condition in mind, how we want to be good people and yet we're constantly fighting off the urge to lose our mind and go bat-crazy on other people haha But clearly there's so much more to this piece than that...so glad you enjoyed and related to this one my friend :) A fitting song as well haha

[Kleio13]

Haha glad you can relate

[Rita L. Sev]

Each stanza is rich with meaningful imagery, Steve. I could read this one a hundred times, and still not exhaust all the nuances you have so masterfully painted here.

"phoenixes are pets of the meek..." has me thinking... Often hailed as a symbol of strength, but is it really strength to keep coming back for more, to not know when to let go? Great writing here, my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Rita, this one has grown on me with time...it's been a joy to see all the different interpretations that people have applied to it, especially the phoenix :) So glad you enjoyed it :)

[Ashira Macy]

Wow. Look up intensity in the dictionary and this should be the definition. Amazing lines and metaphors in this one, right alongside some fantastic similes. This was my favorite:

They fall into flame-induced pitch
stubborn to betray their purpose
like the Titanic's entertainment

Blisteringly brilliant my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Ashira...I think it took me three days to write this one, it was worth every minute...so glad you enjoyed it :)

[Tai Ryens]

"Real animals break a sweat
like real men wear black "

That line stuck with me, for some reason. It's just so darn memorable and unique that it struck a chord and lingers in my mind long after reading this piece. Moving on, this might be quite an odd way to interpret your poetry, but at times, I regard phoenixes as somewhat of a symbol for nuclear weapons. They're fierce, they slay, they leave behind embers that char upon a touch, they just seem like rather perfect beings to symbolize the weapons of mass destruction that we have invented in the name of war. At first glance, I had viewed this to be somewhat of a tribute to nature and an ode for all we've already lost and a promise that one day nature will take over, but upon hearing of the phoenix, I was reminded again of the nuclear weapons.
Taking that into account, the numerous mentions to flames make so much more sense when I take into account nuclear devastation, and that's where I feel your poem shines. You've portrayed the destruction of nature and compared it with that of a possible outcome of humanity's various wars, and took it a step further by using a metaphor for nature as double etendre: a phoenix, a mystic being of nature, being the last thing that will lay waste to humanity along with the fact that our natures, our tendencies towards war and greed and territory, are what led to our seemingly inevitable end. Destroyed by two natures, both symbolic in their own ways, and seen as more of a tale of retribution than anything else.

Stellar and marvelous piece, Kublakhan, keep it coming.

[kublakhan27]

Those lines do seem to be the most resonant among those who've reviewed the piece...I wrote this in the hope of providing as many layers as possible, and it's been pretty neat reading the different spins that people have put on it, including some that I never even thought of...thanks so much for taking the time to offer such an in-depth review...I really enjoyed reading your insights and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem :)

[s y e]

I think it may just be me and the way I feel tonight but this is very wordy and took me a while to get the FULL meaning and yet, I think, that if I read it AGAIN I would see something completely different, that's just how amazing you are Steveroo! I loved this one, great job bud... now let's see a wee smile. :)

[kublakhan27]

Ah your presence always elicits more than a wee smile Noodlebop :) Yes it is a wordy piece, and more than I once did I fear that it was getting away from me, but it became a pet project after a while, and the more I laboured over it, the closer it got to my heart...I tried to leave as much room for layers as possible, and your review makes me happy for I feel like I did manage to do that...thank you as always for the support bud, it means more than I can say :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

This tour of the furnace was filled with exquisite metaphors,vivid imagery and perfect flow.. The wild and free imagination can not be trapped as it overflows. Phoenix is the pet of the meek?? ;) ahh well ,i could have argued about it but reading the next line i curbed my tongue ★winks★ .. Joan of Arc a rebel heart. A powerful piece.

~Sophy

[kublakhan27]

Haha Don't worry, I don't share my character's view on phoenixes, and I was a little uneasy about the Joan Of Arc factor, but I needed some defiant imagery to get that rebel feel across. So glad you enjoyed the piece, it became a pet project for me after a while, and certainly didn't get done overnight haha Thank you Sophy :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

I must say the imagery was successful. It was a pleasure reviewing you. :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

I must say the imagery was successful. It was a pleasure reviewing you. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you again Sophy :)

[Sarabelle]

Good job, loved it so so much!!!!!
♥Sarabelle♥

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Sarabelle :)

[MsJewel]

Your use of metaphor and the imagery in this one is incredible my friend. There are so many layers, so much depth in your words...
Shuffling the coals until
you draw a mirror in the melting chaos
a theory of precipitation whispers
I can treat you better
I am almost speechless...in awe of your talent. You inspire me to be a better poet.

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

I'm truly humbled by your kind words my friend...it means the world to know I can inspire someone...and I am always inspired by your work as well...you are able to capture emotions that I'm not so good at capturing :) Thanks so much :)

[Pryde Foltz]

The truly wild can never be tamed just contained. Excellent write, Steve.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Pryde.

[Einstein Noodle]

when i saw the title and author i couldnt wait to get here .. from a greeting invitation and hint of at your own risk i read ... all the way to a libidinous Joan of Arc .. is nothing sacred!? :) ... so much in your word choices .. i go off on my own tangents each time i read this .. most of the time at different departure stations .. i admire your discipline in keeping the furnace burning throughout the entire length of your poem .. what a fine finished product you have .. and i agree .. too many wonderful lines to point out one or two
E.

[kublakhan27]

Haha Trust me, I thought long and hard about that last line but there was no other ending to be found once I got there :P And for a while I wondered if I would at all cuz this took forever to write...the concept was in my head but I could not find the words for the life of me...but every minute of frustration is worth it for just one review such as this...thank you for the awesomely kind words my friend...when my confidence is not so high, these are the things I remind myself of :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i use to be a carpenter and your response reminds of of jobs that were such that every single pinch of the way was obstructed, and bloody painful .. but in the end very rewarding for not quitting and not compromising quality .. rock on Kubla!
E.

[kublakhan27]

Haha My Dad was a carpenter and I used to help him sometimes...he was a masterful carpenter, I was not...he was also a perfectionist...we had some real entertaining exchanges haha Thanks as always my friend :)