OKAY, CORRAL ME

08 16 14

Pockets of apocryphal enormity
I grudgingly inherited through word of mouth
I can barely see let alone walk
in the shadow of the mainstream's
efficacious coattails
Sing a song of six-guns in my honour
when I choke on the tuberculosis
of ambition taken out of context
and embalm me with the dog-eared
ghost of a scripture in training
Effigies stuffed with the satisfaction
of my just desserts like a turkey
will be occupied by yours truly
for you see I was born disembodied
Penance is the purpose I've been saving up
my pounds of purgatory for
All your masochistic anti-wakes
I will nullify with my delight in your insane
cathartic festivals of spite
When existence is a paid-in-fate sabbatical
the job of sweeping up a castigated legacy
is all the heaven I require or deserve

Author's Note

Avatar: Anxiety by Edvard Munch

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Hmmmm.....someone reprimanded you and now you are venting? You really have opened an eloquent can of whoopass on someone here. Your choice of vocabulary is stellar! To ignore you, well, those six guns should be pointed in the opposite direction. I think you hit the bulls eye here....and I hope it was a bit of a catharsis for you. Lydi**

[kublakhan27]

Seems like I'm always venting now doesn't it my friend? But that's just how it is...I'm simply not a cherry or optimistic person, and it feels like everything I write is the equivalent of a can of whoop-a*s on someone or some group...and unfortunately I know I'm not done yet...there are too many things going on right now that just have me throbbing with bitter cynicism...but as always, you bring a smile to my face and make me realize that I have much to be thankful for, I only wish I were as good at articulating those feelings as I am the others...so glad you enjoyed this one Lydi, and thanks so much for understanding as always :)

[MOON]

Love the title , your words always a delight original and clever.

[kublakhan27]

Thank so much Moon, nice to see you again :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well quite a rant my dear Steve.Only you could possibly put someone in their place with such wonderful lines lol.No one has the right to judge another person or belittle them or make them feel as if they have no worth just because their tiny brains can't understand your words and logic.Excellent one my friend :)

[kublakhan27]

You've brought a smile to my face with your review my friend...so glad you enjoyed this one...as you can see, I was hurting for a confidence boost, and you always give me one when i need it...thanks so much Vidya :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are an awesome person and writer Steve I wish I were half as talented as you.Glad I could make you smile my sweet friend .You are welcome :)

[kublakhan27]

You humble me with your kind words my friend...do not be so eager to sell yourself short...there are many elements in your writing that I long to possess...I can honestly say that you are one of my favourite writers here, and one I respect wholeheartedly :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You mister has made my evening by your kind words and I have to thank you for making this angel smile.You have my respect and gratitude for being so kind always :)

[kublakhan27]

Always a pleasure Vidya, it makes me happy knowing that I can make you smile :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You did my sweet friend :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

Holy cow!! I loved this Steve. Yesterday i was told by one of my friends i write too much. I just wanted to box his ears.. lol..this poem filled with the Anger of a poet that - yes!!i am a damn poet. I am the chosen one i grudgingly accept it cause you hate it. I have got this job of sweeping off castigated legacy. Ño matter what i will do it. Whether you read me or not i will still write. Its in my damn poet blood. Foolish people! Dialysis won't help curing us. Cheers bro.. !!

~Sophy

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'll be polite and say that anyone who thinks you write too much is not artistically inclined :P Yes, it may feel like nobody cares at times, but I write on anyway...I am a poet, hear me roar haha...thank you for the awesome review my friend, you knew just where I was coming from with this one ;)

[Sophy Freebirds]

Yooo.. !! Roar! We are there to hear.. ;) always a pleasure amigo

[redzone]

Had I been first reader and commenter, I would have said most of what has already been said, HA!! I could just say DITTO what they said, but that would be cheating... so Mr. Steve, aka Benji, aka, Mr K. Khan, it is nice to see you shouting loudly "I am alive over here, so WTF are you gonna do about it, sorry, ignoring me won't cut it any longer!!!"

It seems your anger is both self centered and aimed at "in the shadow of the mainstream's
efficacious coattails " somehow the antithesis of the unity of opposites... but as you know, I don't think anyone should do Penance for purgatory... on the other hand Jacob may have a point about being a poet and writing as something close to this at times.

I do enjoy wading through your verbal mind fields and occasionally come out the other side with some cool insights on life. And at times I step on one and spend too much effort on putting myself back together. But its these times that I see more clearly into the heart of you and your creativity... it's always a treat Steve..
~~redzone

[kublakhan27]

It's hard to know where to begin on this one my friend...I've had a hard time responding to reviews on this one, as it is so tightly-wrapped around my psyche that it's hard to break it down to specific points...many of the things I've touched on here you are already familiar with...it's an angry and spiteful piece, I'll make no bones about that, and was deliberately written in an abstract way, though it's made perfect sense of others, so maybe my friends are just accustomed to my voice now ;) I think I'm still putting myself back together after this one...there were so many things swirling around in my mind that I don't think I've distinguished them all yet...but yes, I'm alive, and I may feel ignored a lot of the time, that is until my friends snap me out of it and remind me to write, as opposed to getting caught up in the trap of venting and losing my poetic voice...so glad you enjoyed this one, thank you Curt :)

[redzone]

Not sure it's entirely possible to lose your poetic voice by venting, sooner or later I think the words floating in the language pool of life entices us to write.. and here is Jacobs point I think, forces us to write... it is not easy, sometimes seems damn near impossible, but we write nontheless... your word visions create a myrad of artistic expressions, yes some abstract and some not so much, but in my opinion add to the sweetness of life and our human existence... poetry, friendships, loves, all are indeed fun and exciting, they are also our necessity and responsibility...

~~redzone

[kublakhan27]

Not much I can add to that my friend, you've said it all :)

[Blake Fodor]

you splashed me full of dreamy thoughts and stretched out my spirit

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Blake, so glad it moved you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my favorite line in this, is every single one of them...

"the tuberculosis of ambition" "born disembodied"----"masochistic anti-wakes"

my penance is that i write poetry until i die...i believe that...i was chosen by poetry, i didn't choose it....but knowing i have no choice but to write at all hours of day or night...i realize it is what i "grudgingly inherited"--

anyway, this is how this brilliantly worded piece speaks to me...
i am probably far off...but i sure like this.

[kublakhan27]

You're pretty close to the mark my friend, as you always are...it's hard to know how to respond when there were so many things swirling round in my head when I wrote this, and it's virtually impossible to separate them in an attempt to dissect exactly what is going on in this piece...but the vocation of a poet is certainly front and center, along with the mental tribulations it brings...I can tell you that it was written in a bitter state-of-mind, not a great night...this place often leaves me with an alienated feeling, though I do have many great friends here...beyond that, it's a tough one to assess, even for myself...but you've definitely tapped into the essence of it...thank you Jacob.

[AprilRN1210]

wow! I am with my girl.....tell me how you really feel.... the descriptions and metaphors in this are sheer freaking brilliant... masterpiece of meticulous mayhem..... ... Oh my gawd.... I felt every word..... I know the place where this comes from, so I know how good it felt for you to write this.. I am so proud of you for letting it out... wheeeew.... I feel the casualties left in your wake with this one, my friend and glad I'm not on that list... some of these lines are so powerful and raw that they reach out and punch the reader where it hurts...

"when I choke on the tuberculosis
of ambition taken out of context
and embalm me with the dog-eared
ghost of a scripture in training"....... this is so profound, real, and written so damn well.... I am seriously in AWE of your talent right now... I can say without a doubt this is my new ABSOLUTE favorite of yours.... packs a powerful punch!!!

I am saving this one in my favorites, as I want to come back and read this one over and over again... I have already read it at least four times and each time I go back it still has the power.. The emotion in this one jumps off the page, SCREAMING its war cry.... battle lines drawn this six-string shooter is cocked and loaded... scares me my friend....
never heard the song before... had Bon Jovi's song "wanted dead or alive" going through my head as I read it, but yes I know I am a little "wonky" anyway.....

Amazing write..... crazy good.... seriously.... I am like a kid in a candy store right now with your words.... I LOVE THIS.... you hear me?.... yep... LOVE IT..... big ole ((hugs))

[kublakhan27]

I answer your wow with another resounding wow my friend...I haven't the slightest idea as to how to address this most awesome review, I can only say that you've humbled me beyond words with such effusive praise...you know me well, and you know where I'm coming from with every piece I write now...you know you'll never be a member of that 'list'...you're a dear friend and an endless source of support and confidence, and you seem to know just when I need it the most...needless to say I'm thrilled that is a favourite for you...again, you just know where I'm coming from all the time now, you even know the mindset I'm in when I write every piece ;) This was definitely a war cry, and battle lines were drawn with authority in this one...I was going for the jugular, simple as that...

I almost went with Desperado, but not the Eagles song, the Alice Cooper song haha...Wanted probably would have worked nicely, but the Dead have this great sense of irony in mixing ominous words and upbeat arrangements so that's the one I went with...I wish I could say more, but there's no way I can match such a wonderfully enthusiastic review...you know how I'm feeling though...I'm unspeakably thrilled that you enjoyed this piece so much, and that its ferocity didn't scare you away...of course I know you're not easily scared off by ferocity in any form ;)

You've brought a big smile to my face here April...I really can't thank you enough...sending you all the big and squishy hugs you can handle :) ((hugs))

[AprilRN1210]

awwww, well GOOD... I am glad... and yes, I do know where your "mindset" is... and heard this cry well.. awesome job..... nope--takes more than this to scare me off... oooooh, all the big and squishy hugs I can handle?.... I like the sound of that!!! yes please!

[kublakhan27]

Haha I don't know, maybe you just like seeing my fiery side ;) Thanks again bud...squishy hugs :) xo

[AprilRN1210]

I like all of your "sides".... especially the one that gives me hugs.... just sayin

[Kenneth The Poet]

This has been favorited. Some of the best prose I've read in recent days.

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, can you tell I was in a mood when I wrote it haha Thank you Kenneth.

[MsJewel]

The anger and frustration in your words is so powerful...Which is one of the things I admire most about your writing...the reader can feel your words. I enjoyed the entire poem, but the last three lines are a brilliant ending.

Always a pleasure to read you.

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Julie, I'm glad my words have resonated with you so deeply...so glad you enjoyed it, it's always a joy to hear from you :)