THE FAILED ODE

THE FAILED ODE

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

10 09 14

"
Broken splendour writhes
in agonized forfeitures
of all hints of an idyllic
compromise against the grain
of your insurgent campaigns
against my bravery
Insolvent decrees against your brevity
If I have the sliest quip
nipping at my showman's disposal
it will curtsey in the guise
of a sheepish candidate
for a cower under your
unperturbed wordsmith's profundity
of intellectual retrieval
Take the remnants of my revelry
for storage in a shelter
of misplaced dedications
You deserve ballads at this stage
and all I have for you
is the abstruse skinnings
of a sated body's incorrigible skin
Technicalities equip chemistry
to their invincibility of logic
and here I am with flaccid either/ors
that enlighten neither side
of my decision
I am doomed to an incursion of indifference
amplifying how little this
imagination has to say compared
to your compendium of knowledge
in your bottomless philosophy
where intuition bottoms out
and I remain to rub my wounds
of frazzled confidence
in once-informative
poetic observations

© 2014 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27

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Ah, Kubla, women can be extreme [email protected]#$! sometimes, right? We get so caught up in control, we steal a man's manhood, then we wonder why on earth we married such a weakling? I complain about my man's insensitivity and selfishness, but I've fed that particular monster; and it's my mess to fix. Men trying to regain their voice in a relationship have an uphill battle just as difficult. I think most women like strong men. Strong men are sexy and confident. The trick is not whipping them slowly over time. Can you imagine John Wayne or Yule Brenner, Vin Diesel or Russell Crowe kitten whipped? They'd lose all their mistique and magic. Men need their cajones to be men, and women have got to learn to stop putting them down and shutting them up. I loved this composition. Great writing, my friend. 100/100

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You should just be the man you are Steve. Believe it, or not, that is all you can be and frankly that is good enough. Really, there's no "failure" here, in the ode or in the person.

I won't comment on the lines that hit me hard in their tone and artistry Steve, since that would mean high lighting each line. It's simply a good poem. Now pick up those bravery pieces I see scattered around, glue them together and let's go!!!
~~redzone

Posted 5 Years Ago


I realize something about your writing. You use the word "of" very often. I find that it kinda connects your ideas from line to line. However sometimes it causes your meaning to become too complex to follow. Nevertheless, it is clear that your writing is superior to a lot I've seen on this site. For the poem itself...it ironically absolves itself of the "incompetencies" the narrator perceives, by its sheer complexity and lucidity. I however, cannot say this in absolute terms since I don't know what exactly you are comparing yourself to. Nicely done. This one gives me the impetus to peruse the remainder of your works. Bravo man!

Posted 5 Years Ago


You are such a kind, caring person, it saddens my heart that you feel this way. Perhaps (hopefully) this is only a muse. Regardless, your writing is intelligent and powerful. Brilliant as always :) Julie

Posted 5 Years Ago


this is the poem in which I am seeing you....its beautifully presented..i do hope that all is well..:))

Posted 5 Years Ago


It never bodes well to look into the mirror of another. We are our own worst critics. We berate ourselves and feel unworthy of anything worth having. Your line I am doomed to an incursion of indifference says so much about the fear of failure the inability to risk. This is a poem of fear feathered in self flagellation and lonlliness. I ache for the hole in the being of us all.

Posted 5 Years Ago


icelandicblue

5 Years Ago

Where are you? Come Back!!
Youre choice of video shows a deep connection with the poem. Having been apt to find myself lacking in many ways I can relate. We must never compare ourselves to others...it doesn't come to any good. Nor does setting other peoples expectations for ourselves as how we chart our success. Sadly ive one both..

Wonderfully rich and insightful poem Steve....

Posted 5 Years Ago


I suppose it's a good thing the author has more self esteem than the subject of the poem.
Good writing as usual buddy. Hope all is well!

Posted 5 Years Ago


How eloquently you describe feelings of low self-esteem, failure, and self-doubt. So well, in fact, that the author is definitely not one who should be filled with angst and self-doubt, because the poetry is intelligent, well thought out, and brilliantly presented.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

and I remain to rub my wounds
of frazzled confidence
in once-informative
poetic observations

Yeah right … or rather yeah write … the muses gift us in different ways … whatever you do … never second guess a muse … they tend to run off in a huff. And your muse is a fine one … keep her happy:)

Posted 5 Years Ago


(We have a number of musical tastes in common. Boston's one of my favorites and they're amazing to see live even without Brad singing. It never occurred to me to compare him to Freddie but it's apt.)

But I digress. This poem is amazing, too. Wish I had your gift for word-craft; the words seem to fall together as if they were meant to be, and it ends up reading beautifully. Thanks for sharing, Kubla.

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on October 16, 2014
Last Updated on October 16, 2014

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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