Precious

Precious

A Poem by Tai Ryens
"

Sometimes the gem we want is not the gem we deserve.

"

Should precious pearls tempt me

To pursue innocent oyster;

And crack open hollow shell
With nothing to plunder?


How long until I discover that

I am not worth diamond?

Then turn to strike another stone

To mine for platinum instead?

© 2012 Tai Ryens


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Author's Note

Tai Ryens
It started off as a brilliant idea, then kind of flopped while I attempted to put it into English. -sigh-

My Review

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Reviews

This is very philosophical, especially in the sense of question.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This was an amazing poem up until the last two lines. That part kind of threw it off /: But it was still a great concept and I definately enjoyed it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I see a man surrounded by gold and jewels, but completely hollow. Some shells are empty, others hold wonder. But you can't tell until you crack them open. . . I think the first stanza is better formulated than the second.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is simply amazing, I like this

Posted 8 Years Ago


it's not as great as your other works but i can understand the idea. i get that it flopped when you tried to put it into English that happens to me a lot. great write. keep it up!!!! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I think you will find, Ryan, sometimes poems have a mind of their own when you are writing them. You think you are going one way with them; but, they take you someplace different.
This is good as it is. Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This certainly brings a a new thought process in my mind loved it

Posted 8 Years Ago


Good poem. I liked it. The last line just doesnt really fit with the flow of the poem though.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I think this is a briliant idea, and well put too lol.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Should precious pearls tempt me

To pursue an innocent oyster;

And crack open the hollow shell

Finding nothing to plunder?


How long until I discover

I am not worth diamonds ?

Then turn to strike another stone

To mine .. finding platinum .. instead


I like this .. thoughts to ponder .. J.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Tai Ryens

8 Years Ago

I will update it, thanks for notifying those errors. I was quite in a rush to type this in before I.. read more

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12 Reviews
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Added on July 17, 2012
Last Updated on July 17, 2012

Author

Tai Ryens
Tai Ryens

Bay Area, CA



About
I must start that I am not as active as I should be on this site, though I do tend to drop by every now and then and review what I can from friends and those whose works I enjoy. Currently, I am dippi.. more..

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