Precious

Sometimes the gem we want is not the gem we deserve.

Should precious pearls tempt me

To pursue innocent oyster;

And crack open hollow shell
With nothing to plunder?

How long until I discover that

I am not worth diamond?

Then turn to strike another stone

To mine for platinum instead?

Author's Note

It started off as a brilliant idea, then kind of flopped while I attempted to put it into English. -sigh-

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

This is very philosophical, especially in the sense of question.

[kayla]

This was an amazing poem up until the last two lines. That part kind of threw it off /: But it was still a great concept and I definately enjoyed it.

[Extant]

I see a man surrounded by gold and jewels, but completely hollow. Some shells are empty, others hold wonder. But you can't tell until you crack them open. . . I think the first stanza is better formulated than the second.

[pumpkin head]

this is simply amazing, I like this

[Rhea752]

it's not as great as your other works but i can understand the idea. i get that it flopped when you tried to put it into English that happens to me a lot. great write. keep it up!!!! :)

[Michael G.]

I think you will find, Ryan, sometimes poems have a mind of their own when you are writing them. You think you are going one way with them; but, they take you someplace different.
This is good as it is. Well done.

[Kristin]

This certainly brings a a new thought process in my mind loved it

[Legolas]

Good poem. I liked it. The last line just doesnt really fit with the flow of the poem though.

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

I think this is a briliant idea, and well put too lol.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Should precious pearls tempt me

To pursue an innocent oyster;

And crack open the hollow shell

Finding nothing to plunder?


How long until I discover

I am not worth diamonds ?

Then turn to strike another stone

To mine .. finding platinum .. instead


I like this .. thoughts to ponder .. J.

[Tai Ryens]

I will update it, thanks for notifying those errors. I was quite in a rush to type this in before I left, so yeah. Except the ending, it's kind of like this: I went into the mine to get diamonds, but found platinum instead; get it?