Nails

Nails

A Poem by Tai Ryens
"

Dancing on nails~

"

Hurling darts towards adolescent maps;

starting quests that evaporate into thin air like steam:

ambitions fading to oblivion as a match

drifting among lifeless stars were his dreams.


{Skimming in darkness seemed as a coincidence;

for he refused to believe evil thrived in his soul:

little did he know the devil planned the incident;

scheming to swipe every bit of the plunder he stole}


Dragging along shells made every step even harder;

anchoring a guilty conscience to every stop in the paper trail:

squinting towards a finish that continuously gets farther;

only to glance down and see terrified faces in every nail.


© 2012 Tai Ryens


Author's Note

Tai Ryens
Not sure if I pulled this off well . . . Let me know what you think?
Photo courtesy of neos86 on Deviant Art

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Reviews

You have such a good vocabulary :) I wish I had a mouth like you...

Posted 11 Years Ago


Tai Ryens

11 Years Ago

And you will, one day, so long as you strive for it with all your worth and pursue it.
C.A. Lucas

11 Years Ago

Thank you :)
I like this one. The first Stanza's pretty f**k cool.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I think you pulled this off. So much, to consider here. And there's a
sadness to this journey, very palatable. I like the way you squeezed,
sandwiched between the two vivid scenes an explanation––––through
narration. Thought provoking Tai. Well written.

Posted 11 Years Ago


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Alm
I'd say you did pull it off well. I feel I'm like being sucked into the poem, and feel the horror just as the character does. 'Tis awesome, Ryan.

-Alm

Posted 11 Years Ago


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.
Great rhythm! I really liked it! 100/100 :)

Posted 11 Years Ago



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252 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 25, 2012
Last Updated on August 25, 2012
Tags: ambition, dark, dream

Author

Tai Ryens
Tai Ryens

Bay Area, CA



About
I must start that I am not as active as I should be on this site, though I do tend to drop by every now and then and review what I can from friends and those whose works I enjoy. Currently, I am dippi.. more..

Writing