Watching

Watching

A Poem by Lana

She always had her broken laptop on her lap 
The screen and keyboard  were torn in half
Yet somehow the damn thing still worked
And a frown was always on her forehead
Two lines meeting each other like magnets
I saw her once at a café, she was on her phone this time
She never talked to anybody
A blue light emitting from her phone reflected on the window right by her side
Rain drops tapped on the window making a surprisingly relaxing sound
She never seemed to have any particular emotion on her face
Except maybe indifference
She would write down on a journal, and then go back to her phone
She did that for over an hour, and at some point she stopped holding the pen to focus on her phone 
She left the café and I decided to follow her
I've followed her for a week and a half 
And I've never seen her with anybody
She was what they call a loner
Never had any expression on her face
Conspiracy theorists would think she was an alien, going undercover to look over us, humans
She would go to work, leave the building with headphones on
Always looking down on the floor
Always avoiding eye contacts with pedestrians
One day it changed
She was riding a bike, the soft wind caressing her face
And she closed her eyes and smiled
I stopped watching her 
It was pointless, I was watching myself

© 2017 Lana


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Featured Review

I would call her an introvert. This was an interesting read for me. The end brought a slight surprise as I thought it was about two people. Still, I like the way you built the story within. There are so many of us like that. Avoiding people at times is an easy option..
Good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I really liked the line -Conspiracy theorists would think she was an alien, going undercover to look over us, humans - What a fantastic use of wording that line was. I have to admit my jaw slightly opened whilst reading it. You really did a tremendous job at holding my attention throughout this piece, and was fascinating to see the piece unfold throughout. I have to adimit, it felt more a short story than a poem BUT it held my interest right to the very end and then BAM
Great piece to have read, thank you for putting it on this site.
Mark

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lana

7 Years Ago

Aw thank you so much, this made my day, thank you Mark!
I would call her an introvert. This was an interesting read for me. The end brought a slight surprise as I thought it was about two people. Still, I like the way you built the story within. There are so many of us like that. Avoiding people at times is an easy option..
Good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hey, I'm new here and i just randomly came across your story, just wanted to say i liked it. I like the monologue describing her surroundings and her features, coupled with the warm imagery at the end. Melancholic and charming.



Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lana

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much, warms my heart that u enjoyed it! Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.. read more

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134 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 18, 2017
Last Updated on March 18, 2017
Tags: mental illnes, inner struggle, depression, feelings, negativity, courage, bold, fight, motivation

Author

Lana
Lana

Writing
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