Darling, You're Dead To Me

Darling, You're Dead To Me

A Poem by Alana McGuire
"

Darling, I'll take this to the grave.. There are multiple puns and metaphors here, see if you can find them all. ;)

"

Quite honestly, to the precise point, I miss you, Love. I miss all the things we never really had but I always desired for us. We were close, but never close enough. But Darling, I settled. It began with my heart holy shattered for you; and what would be more fitting than for it to end as it so began?

End.

Cease.

Stop.

The words burn through my thoughts with every intention of singeing me to the umpteenth degree. But where have you gone? Why have you left?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

I’ve nothing short of died with my gradual, say lack of you. Internally numb, lifeless; grief-stricken agony consumes my being, threatening replacement upon your ice-cold affection.

Affection. If only you knew such a meaning.

Love, what gnashes at me the deepest remains the many memories of us, slowly disintegrating like the remains of you that lie six feet below my dismal frame, knelt longingly at your grave. Oh if only soiled ground was all that kept us apart.

Apart.

Distanced.

Dissociated.

And in one fell swoop a surge of anger flows through my icy veins. How could you leave me here?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

Adrenaline.

Uncontainable,

Uncontrolled

Adrenaline rushes through my coldened fingers as they clench around the wall of dirt you so willingly allowed to separate us. Oh but you don’t think I’ll get to the bottom of this, Darling? Well you are gravely mistaken. No, I am clawing my way through the thickened dirt in determined anguish; do I truly want to know? Must I force my eyes upon what is left of you, my wayward love?

The rhetorical venom seeps through in ignited stitches, threatening my very sanity.

Sanity, it leaves my body through warm, crimson blood escaping from my frantic fingers. It seems the dirt is cementing the closer to you I become. Who knew the past would be so difficult to reach?

As if I’m fighting for my life….Oh but truly, am I not?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

After seemingly years of devoted piercings to the ground, I cast my hollow eyes upon your visible, withered frame. Your frail body lies inanimate in my gradually numbing arms.

Inanimate.

Inert.

Quiescent.

My tears stream down like burning blades, falling upon your ever-dismal face, as realization penetrates through my every pore, goring me with agonizing truth of your death in the form of apathetic betrayal. For so long I have sacrificed my very being to merely brighten your rainy days. Darling, who was there, holding you, when your demons lashed and gnarled their hideous fangs in attempt to “end your suffering”? They left you hanging by a thread, screaming out….

No! You can’t! Please Love, please come back. Don’t leave me here with all my failed attempts to save you. Stop! Wake up! You could end this all with a mere, sincere phrase you wouldn’t dare mutter from your icy lips. Darling,

I miss you.

I miss.

I…without you.

Oh the vain of such phrased.

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

Oh such a pity your lifeless frame lacks the detection of fractured venom in my pleading voice. It lacks my very being. What a sight we must be; my pathetic commitment to a ghost outlived twined with your frigid, ruptured heart….or lack thereof.

No one need witness such an unfortunate masquerade; for they could not fathom envisioning all that is held in our wake. So may the cemetery gates serve as masquerade masks for our beloved tragedy.

Now fall the masks.

Now close the gates.

Now close the curtain.

You may have ceased your breathing, but I will never cease my care.

© 2013 Alana McGuire


Author's Note

Alana McGuire
Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

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Featured Review

Wow you hit this part, perfectly I think. It does really seem like this is how it is at times.
"It began with my heart holy shattered for you; and what would be more fitting than for it to end as it so began?"

I love how you repeated this line in a italic font throughout.
"I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care."

Here you go with your great way of writing feelings.
"And in one fell swoop a surge of anger flows through my icy veins. How could you leave me here?"

Whew... do I need to say anything here, because you just said this so good.
"Adrenaline rushes through my coldened fingers as they clench around the wall of dirt you so willingly allowed to separate us."

How do you come up with this powerful feeling... wow.
"The rhetorical venom seeps through in ignited stitches, threatening my very sanity."

These lines belong together so well!
"As if I’m fighting for my life….Oh but truly, am I not?
I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care."

Simply... love this.
"My tears stream down like burning blades, falling upon your ever-dismal face, as realization penetrates through my every pore, goring me with agonizing truth of your death in the form of apathetic betrayal. For so long I have sacrificed my very being to merely brighten your rainy days. "

Well... wow, if that isn't a ending to this write, then what would be. I love it, and the way you reversed that italic write you had repeated through out, changing it in the end, so good.
"So may the cemetery gates serve as masquerade masks for our beloved tragedy.
Now fall the masks.
Now close the gates.
Now close the curtain.
You may have ceased your breathing, but I will never cease my care."

I see what MiniMoxx says about the way its written like a "chapter of a book" but... I love how you wrote this, I can see I think what you tried to do, with the emotion without. Or at least that is what it seems like to me, which is a great way to writing this, just perfect how it is. :) Nice write for sure.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i think its really cool, though its long your work is great that u hav to read it all and just say wow in the end


Posted 8 Years Ago


Alana McGuire

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
great usage of metaphors and puns! great write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Alana McGuire

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
Your brilliant words were a dance of thoughts and ideas, metaphors and magic... What a unique journey into the heart and mind of love and loss... moving on but never letting go. This stirred my mind to such imagination!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Alana McGuire

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate your kind words. :)
wuvved it :) I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care ... great line :)


Posted 8 Years Ago


Alana McGuire

8 Years Ago

Thank you, greatly. :)
Richard

8 Years Ago

mmhmmmmmmm
The italicized words are brilliant, an agonizing piece. Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Alana McGuire

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review :)
Oooh dear! This is so beautiful... So brilliant,breathtaking,and your use of vocabulary was excellent. Hope it has worn at worst 10 contests LOL. Am so proud of you Girlfriend....

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like it all! Great job there's so much good I could say but I'm going to limit to one: when I read "my wayward love" I was then listening to "carry on wayward son" I don't know if you wanted it to be like that but I liked it! Awesome!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Ah, a piece about how love for a person still exist, but it's time to more on! I really like the line "The words burn through my thoughts with every intention of singeing me to the umpteenth degree." I like the words to express that. And later on, you comapre the whole thing as an underground grave and you are trying to cralw out! Such brilliant write!

Posted 9 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this, it had dashing subtlety. At times the idea was a bit too subtle for me to catch, but I enjoyed it all the same. It's like every time I read it I'm going to get a bit more. And that makes me want to read it multiple times.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was really good. No, actually, this was really great. If that makes sense. :P I love who you asked so many questions and did that three worded thing. And I also agree with Archia. :P

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on December 20, 2011
Last Updated on August 1, 2013
Tags: letting go, moving on, lost love, grave, love, loss, end, affection, pain, agony, miss, stop, cease

Author

Alana McGuire
Alana McGuire

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Hello! My name is Alana, and I'm really glad you're on my profile. I love chatting, so send me a message anytime! I also love reading new poetry, so feel free to add me and we can share our words.. more..

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