Struggle

Struggle

A Poem by LapseOfMind
"

A poem

"
Is it your touch that grabs ahold and inspires
Or simply what you gave away
An essence exquisite in beauty
Like the sunrise at each new day
Breathless when I watch you struggle
Knowing you will find a way
And bruised are your knuckles in triumph
With silent words on your face you display

© 2016 LapseOfMind


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Reviews

"An essence exquisite in beauty. With silent words on your face you display." These two lines say it all. Deep and meaningful. Well expressed and written. Keep writing.


Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it
Breathless when I watch you struggle
Knowing you will find a way
Now this is something new for me for which i have to praise your writing abilities.
Well written poem. Glad to read something new to me.
Will be looking forward to your other works.
Well done

Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

Awesome, glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and your kind words
Amazing use of words and thoughts. The words left the reader with good thoughts and place to be. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I appreciate it!
Coyote Poetry

7 Years Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.
First things first.....I read your poems because of your pen name ....lapseofmind....very poetic :P ......and your poem is very smooth I should say....yes abrupt.... But I wished it hadn't ended....beautiful...

Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much, for all you said. My pen name is just what I've used for years now for everythi.. read more
Patricia Stephmore

7 Years Ago

Your welcome.... Your writing is very beautiful and smooth... Especially the choice of words.....I a.. read more
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V
Sentimental one, sensual also. I'm really into your choice of words and the imagery you created. It caught my mind but I have to criticize one thing: the sunrise line reads off somehow like too romantic, too gooey or syrupy kind of. I'd just leave it out or make a new line but that's on you.

Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

I feel you on the sunset line and others do as well. If I wasn't lazy I might fix it because it does.. read more
V

7 Years Ago

You're welcome. Change it whenever you feel like.
Your prose is beautiful! It ends on a very poignant note, and I loved the first line, it really drew my attention. The only thing I would revise is the 4th line, the imagery of a sunrise comes off as very cliche

Posted 7 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

7 Years Ago

Wow, thank you, I really appreciate it! Yeah, sunrises are cliche lol thank you again
The obstacle is the way. The journey is the end.

That is what this reminds me of. I like the way you write about the human condition, the daily struggle.

Posted 8 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I appreciate it
wow nick this is exceptionally beautiful, this words have made me think of my baby girl, the way she inspires my everything, the way she is my everything. this is so beautiful. Loved loved it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I appreciate it! I wrote it about my wife. I watch as she endures the struggles.. read more
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Rod
"Breathless when I watch you struggle" I love this, very visual and well written.. Nice one

Posted 8 Years Ago


LapseOfMind

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it!!

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399 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 21, 2016
Last Updated on February 21, 2016
Tags: Poem, poetry, struggle, victory

Author

LapseOfMind
LapseOfMind

Seattle, WA



About
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