Untitled

How can you reach without a hand

and walk

and run

and hop without a leg

How can you sing without a song

and sway

and dance

and glide without a rythm

How can you love with out sharing

and giving

and breathing

and believing with out a heart

Reviews

[Chris]

Almost a song to sing to a cloudless sky with a full moon glowing...

[Allen Smuckler]

thought provoking write lei.
Loved the transition from reaching to singing to loving....
You DO get your point across..in a simple yet complex set of questions...looking for answers but still hypothetical...perhaps there are no real answers...just questions.
Critique:in my humble opinion, last stanza might read as the first two, so I would lose the gerund "ing"
How can you love without sharing (that has to remain) unless you change How can you share without love
and give
and breathe
and believe
without a heart
I don't know ... just a thought...I don't mean to be presumptuous or arrogant...just giving my reactions and opinions...doesn't mean they are right.
Another good write lei
possible titles: Just Asking.... Questions.... There are no Answers
allen

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You're missing an 'h' in 'rhythm', in the last line of the second stanza, and 'without', in the first line of the last stanza, is generally written as one word, but your image is very, very good and your solemn, heartfelt delivery is really very nice. Well done.

[Michael G.]

Wondrous questions posed extremely well in this thoughtful piece. It's quiet simplicity carries a lot of weight in asking the reader to find the answers to what the poem asks of them.
Well done.

[Emily B]

heart full words, beautiful and full of grace

[lei]

thank you, Emily