Breaking Down

Breaking Down

A Poem by Lee

Long knock-down

drag out

days

of waiting

wondering

what does it all

mean…

 

Pulled in one

direction

led in another

pushed behind

toppled over…

 

I waited

you gave

me

hope

your words

telling me

it would all

be

worked

out

 

We’ll pull it off

make it work

one foot in

front of the

other

making something

rational

of it all

 

hang on

hold on

let go

come back

I need

she needs

no time

time’s running out

not enough

plenty left

 

plus me

no comment

back off

check it out

 

together

we’re wonderful

we’re

too

far

apart

 

Come now

wait awihle

first things first

a car

a job

a home

unstable

unable

life’s in flux

just my luck

 

you don’t

call

you

promised

you

would

I know you heard me

ring

I know you did

 

Left me

hanging

waiting

planning

kept it quiet

should have run

 

had so much to

say

so much to

share

so much to

give

 

Jason said

He may be

handsome

but he’s

stupid

 

he

doesn’t know

what

he’s

passing

up

 

good woman

good mind

big heart

kind soul

 

actions speak

louder than words

and the silence

is deafening…

 

I’ve heard it all before…

 

 

© 2010 Lee


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Featured Review

I like the stream of consciousness here, but it can become a tad erratic at times. And maybe this is your intention. I know I've had thoughts rambling through my brain like this on more than one occasion.

Typo here:
"Come now
wait awhle"

Interesting. Thanks for the read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow! Well written,
I love the thoughts rambling and racing up.
this shown raw emotions and true.
good work :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this! Dynamic and raw and female writing! Great one!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I loved the racing thoughts of this poem. It really put me in the mindset of loves lost, cracked romance and the feeling that life is falling apart at the seams. You set a tumbling mood and kept with it.
I really liked:
"Come now

wait awihle

first things first

a car

a job

a home

unstable

unable

life’s in flux

just my luck"
I could relate to it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very interesting Lee. I love it. The mix the thoughts in your head and what seems to be some words you shared makes it very real to me. I love the honesty of some of the sentences towards the situation / yourself. I can totally relate, and come to the same conclusion.
Thx for sharing

Posted 10 Years Ago


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Lee
Thanks for catching the typo... The erratic ramblings seem to be how my brain works.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like the stream of consciousness here, but it can become a tad erratic at times. And maybe this is your intention. I know I've had thoughts rambling through my brain like this on more than one occasion.

Typo here:
"Come now
wait awhle"

Interesting. Thanks for the read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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342 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 24, 2010
Last Updated on June 24, 2010
Tags: lelvsdgs, heartsapocolypse, broken, lessons, love, faded

Author

Lee
Lee

Eureka, CA



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